Yesterday was a gorgeous autumn day for our Fall Craft Fair and Family Fun Event. Between vendor fees, the raffle featuring items donated by the vendors, and general donations, we raised $438.00, which directly benefits all of our student members. The DRC Staff & Board would like to offer the following thanks.

Thank you to the thirteen vendors who participated; we are grateful for their support and patience. They committed earlier this summer and then had to endure a rescheduling due to the storm in August.

Thanks to Norwood Village for hosting. The village park provided a perfect venue for our event, and thanks to the firemen who brought tables down the stairs from the municipal building.

The Deep Root Center families who helped cart, carry, set up, run our welcome tent, and clean up are appreciated beyond measure. They are amazing and deeply appreciated!

Thanks to the multi-talented Janine, our DRC Pop-up Mentor, for facilitating all the arts and crafts adventures.

Shouts of gratitude to our fabulous musicians, Galaxy Hitchhiker (AKA Mike Corse) and DRC's own Christopher Raymo, who provided a lively backdrop of sound all day long.

Thank you to Nature's Storehouse, The Potsdam Food Co-op, the Massena Public Library, and the Canton Free Library for letting us borrow your canopy tents. Fortunately, we didn't need them to stay dry - but we were grateful to have some shade from the bright sun.

And finally, a huge thank you to all of the community members from all over St. Lawrence County who came out in support of DRC to enjoy the beautiful day with us. We thoroughly appreciated meeting you and watching your children play and create art. The winners of the raffle items will be contacted tomorrow (Monday).

We look forward to planning our next craft fair & family fun event and the opportunity to connect. Stay tuned for the details!

Today is one of those days when so many thoughts are competing in this noisy and exhausted brain that I cannot focus or get inspired about just one theme for this post. I can only hope that somehow these hyperactive musings will synthesize into something coherent as they tumble through my fingertips and onto the screen.

All this week, I was considering how best to explore two qualities of neurodivergence that have (and continue to) impacted my life substantially.

These include the complexities of PDA - otherwise known as a "persistent drive for autonomy," which has also been pathologized and named "persistent demand avoidance." These two very different ways of thinking about and examining what looks like defiance - have resulted in ODD (opposition defiant disorder) diagnoses exploding in the past few years.

The other is RSD - "rejection sensitivity dysphoria." Broken down as simplistically as possible - this is the constant feeling that I am letting people down or they are upset or angry with me because of something I said or did (or didn't do).

But as I was considering how to present those two interconnected pieces of my personality that affect my every action (reaction), my thoughts were taken over by some of the events this week and how our kiddos are deeply impacted by the severe childhood traumas they endured, their own neurodivergence, and the overall (I would say dangerous) culture of competition perpetuated in nearly every aspect of our children's lives. Which, funnily (interestingly) enough, results in many behaviors that also resemble PDA & RSD.

Therefore, while battling to maintain calmness in my own responses (not always successfully), I am modeling the tools for self-regulation and conflict resolution while engaging in individual and group conversations to help kids navigate the complexities of their emotions and important connecting relationships within this diverse, dynamic (sometimes chaotic) community.

Thank goodness for the other DRC adults, facilitators, and mentors who understand the multitude of nuances and are available to help whenever all the feelings and overwhelming undertones of wild energy erupt and infect everyone's mood - including mine.

As you may have guessed, it was another very full week at DRC Canton.

I realized as the kiddos and our fabulous parent volunteer, Jaclyn, were measuring and determining our property line - it was exactly six years from the day we purchased it. They measured our 33o' x 65' plot with the help of the tax map and a 200ft tape measure and then they went back the next day with the GPS property map app to confirm their original measurements. They were just a bit off because they were measuring around trees and lots of other obstacles.

We welcomed a new teen on Tuesday and had plenty of kitchen adventures all week. Our artists created goth glue drawings that will be completed next week and they painted a "stained glass" window in our front door. Our daily dedicated time of academics included math adventures with Khan Academy and Prodigy, independent reading, GED Prep study, explorations into US history and researching mushrooms.  

As always outside play and visits to the Grasse River were an important part of our week.

Those who know me understand that math - especially Algebra is not one of my strengths. When I talk to kids down on themselves about struggling with higher-level math (or even computational math), I often share the anecdote about taking the Algebra Regents four(!) times before passing, and even then, it was just barely. Yet somehow, despite my challenges with numbers and math concepts (dyscalculia), I have lived a successful, fulfilling life and even built a not-for-profit where I am responsible for all of the financial minutia.

We can't be good at everything - in fact, it is perfectly OK to totally suck at some things. The key is to hone your skills and talents (get really good at the things that you excel in), have a curious mindset including an open mind to new ideas, a commitment to flexibility and problem-solving, and the willingness to create systems (hacks) to assist you with the hard stuff. With all that in place, everything balances out.

Our very full, busy week at DRC Canton included an 18th birthday celebration, lots of cooking,  painting and zoology classes, science experiments, independent study, walks to the Grasse River, hosting 8 SLU CBL volunteers, and plenty of free play.

This week's Pop-ups were hosted by the Massena Library on Thursday afternoon and the Nicandri Nature Center on Friday afternoon.

Janine's report from the Nature Center: "We had a BLAST - used a wildlife ID app, found some really unusual fungi, and dissected owl pellets....and of course got in a lot of exercise."

Meet us at the Norwood Village Park for plenty of Family Fun and live music!

You know those days (weeks, months) when you think to yourself, "What else could possibly go wrong?" or "When is it (life) ever going to get easier?" I am here to remind you that even when you feel like one challenge is quickly eclipsed by another - and you are completely overwhelmed - there are growth opportunities and nuggets of potential buried inside each of those trials. Even when you feel like you can't move forward another step under the weight of disappointment and frustration.

When quitting seems like it might be the answer - ask yourself, "Is this the best way forward for me right now?"  "What are the potential benefits (what opportunities will open up) in quitting?" "Will this 'fix' the issues or make it easier?” (Which is a valid reason, too.)

If the opportunities are hidden inside the challenges, they will make themselves known when you are honest with yourself about the above answers, are open to seeking out new ideas and solutions, and are willing to work hard to make them a reality.

If your answers to the above questions lead you to determine that quitting is the remedy because you feel like the opportunities lay in moving on, don't hesitate - make it clean (be kind and compassionate and leave the drama behind) - and prepare yourself for the next good thing that (absolutely) will present itself.


No matter where you are in this process - understand that you intuitively know the right path for you. Take the time to tune in and pay attention to what your heart is so very desperately trying to tell you.

Our first week was full of adventures and learning opportunities. We brainstormed the points that became our community agreement and listed everything we wanted to explore this year. And we spent plenty of time socializing, playing, and exploring the space. And we wished A. C. a happy 16th Birthday. Thanks to his Grandma for bringing in cupcakes to celebrate.

The DRC Pop-ups began this past Thursday at the Massena Library and Friday at the Nicandri Nature Center. Janine enjoyed meeting some kiddos, engaging in cool conversations, and facilitating art and nature activities. Meet them next week - the Massena Library and the Nicandri Nature Center are both hosting us again. Learn more here.

*note - We are grateful to the Norwood Library for agreeing to host the Pop-ups two Fridays each month beginning Friday, Sept. 27.

Every single one of us is unique - in our neurology, emotions, intellect, and ideology. When we say DRC is individualized, we mean that we are meeting every person where they are - in every one of those attributes - while consciously building a respectful, supportive community.

We expect and encourage every member to be themselves - with the understanding that they have a responsibility to the whole group.

What does that look and feel like in our everyday interactions? Honestly, it is systematic chaos of twenty-six kiddos doing their thing, following their interests, alone and together in groups, while recognizing (being reminded) that everyone else has the same rights.

How do we practice the concepts of community within that three-ring circus? In the past, our community agreement was a generic document that everyone signed off on. This year, we will be more intentional in creating it. On our first day, we will discuss what we want to be included - everyone from the youngest to the oldest can input what they feel is vitally important to our community for them to feel included. Within that contract, we will also have the details for dealing with conflicts that are certain to crop up. Using restorative practices, we will be more deliberate about exercising care for each other, even when we butt heads and disagree.

Is our community perfect? Not by long-shot - we each (adults included) make mistakes and screw up royally. But we also understand that we are all learning and trying our hardest. Sometimes, that means we will fall down in failure. All we can do is give one another (and ourselves) grace, make amends, and ask that we get up and try again the next day.

Growth is tricky. It shows up in leaps and bounds and then sometimes stalls at the most unexpected moments.

We look forward to embracing and celebrating each of those moments while flourishing and thriving together - through all the growing pains - as this new academic year commences.

We will be back in the Canton facility on Monday! It is spiffed up and organized, and ready for all the mayhem of growth and learning.

It is not too late to join us. If you feel like DRC is where your child belongs - get in touch.

The Craft Fair and Family Fun Day is October 5th at the Norwood Village Park. Plan on joining us for some seriously good fun.

Hope is the thing that keeps us moving forward - believing with every fiber of our being that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. However, that hopefulness requires not only patience - but also hard work filled with good intentions.

Hope is not the sustainer, yet it is the thing that gets us through dark moments. It allows us to visualize the dreams that will come our way.

It's the real day-to-day slog and mental resolve (doing all the good work without considering the reward) - brightened by occasional pops of delight (enough to keep us going) - doing the heavy lifting and manifesting our hopes into reality.

After a rough year, DRC is thankfully experiencing one of those bright moments of optimism. I will be able to document the evolving layers of detail here in the next few weeks.

But for now, know that while the "hope is still hoping," we are doing our jobs, maintaining our authenticity and transparency, counting all the blessings with deep gratitude while staying focused on the future to help as many kiddos find a safe, educational home that serves them (and their families) best.

There is still time to register for the last week of the Summer Program 9/26 - 30. Plenty of fun was had this past week!

Our first day back for the 24/25 academic year is Sept. 9th. We are going to be hopping with a full roster of kiddos. If you or your child feel that DRC would fit their needs - please get in touch. We are dedicated to helping any child who needs us.

There is no way I could ever do what I do without all the tricks and strategies I have spent a lifetime developing. At this point in my life, if it weren't for all of those hacks, I would be absolutely and irrevocably lost - a newly identified (acknowledged) neurodivergent, certified  basket-case.

To be clear, I have always been neuro-spicy, but it wasn't until two years ago (at the age of 57 1/2) that I finally learned enough about it to understand that it explained the weird, super creative, hyper-sensory, clumsy, socially awkward, and learning difference (all the "dys's") traits within me - that fought for recognition for all those years.

Back to a few of the hacks -

• Because of my issues with object permanence (if it is not in my line of vision, in my mind, it does not exist), I have open shelving at home, and everything at the Center is either labeled (folks think the labels are for the kids - ha, little do they know...) or in an open file holder on a shelf in my office. The file cabinet is where things go to die - never to be found again.
• Everything, and I mean everything(!), has a home and goes back to it as soon as I am done. If there is a question about where something is, I remember to look in its home first because it has become an unconscious habit to put things away. I usually don’t remember doing it.
• At heart, I am a minimalist - too much "stuff" means it can easily descend into disorganized chaos.
• Deadlines are my friends - I never met one I didn't like. (Artificial ones work great too!)
• And to go along with that, early morning is when I can accomplish a day's worth of tasks in only a few hours - don't get in the way! The afternoon is nap time - my brain turns off for the day - (if only DRC kids were on board).
• To combat time blindness - in my head, I work backward from when I have to be somewhere or do something - to ensure I am always on time, if not early. Being late means someone would have to wait for me. (Cringe!) I also have the memory of a gnat so Google Calendar is a lifesaver on a few counts! As soon as I promise to do something - it goes directly into my calendar.
• I love the challenge of looking at problems from different angles and brainstorming ideas that don't seem obvious at first and quietly implementing them with little fuss -understanding nothing is ever finished - it can always be revised or scrapped altogether.  Because mistakes will be made or another better idea will come along.
  
• Related - when the creative spark strikes - I pounce on it. (That is where the dopamine lives.) Sometimes, I need a jump start. But even then, all it usually takes is sitting in front of the laptop - with an open project on Canva or Grammarly and a random idea.
• I have limited social energy on a good day and even less on a "bad" day. I have learned to say "no" to group activities or functions when I know it will put me over my threshold to a place of being overwhelmed, cranky, and exhausted. Mainly because it is usually loud, there is lots of visual stimulation (which makes me get tunnel vision), so many smells (no one ever really talks about the olfactory deluge), and to top it off, small talk is tortuously awkward, especially when the face-blindness "thing" gets me in trouble.

I now realize that before I understood my brain differences, all of these hacks were developed over time so that I could navigate through the world without tipping people off to my weirdness - my "deficits." It was never an option to fail or be noticed.

The backward part of that thinking is that all my weirdness, in reality, is my superpower. If my Fairy Godmother appeared before me and offered a neurotypical brain - I would refuse and run the other way without hesitation.

My neurodivergence makes it possible for me to be unapologetically my creative, problem-solving, quirky (goofy) self. Instead of hiding, I now use the hacks to highlight all that weird awesomeness and accomplish everything I want to do.  In the process, I am normalizing neuro-spiciness so the young people I work with are comfortable being their authentic selves, too.

Note - This post was written a few days before the devastating remnants of TD Debby and resulting flood waters hit the NoCo. Sending out our best to everyone and hoping you are safe and dry. I have not gone into town yet to see how the DRC house fared.  I will keep you all updated here, in next week's post.

I grew up in the very small town of Brasher Falls, where there was no public library until recently - well past my childhood. My only option was the tiny school library - where I was allowed to check out two books each week. I was one of those kids who devoured a single book in hours - two books covered me for a portion of a day - never mind a whole entire week.

Therefore, all three books I owned as a child were in heavy rotation. One after the other, over and over and over again. (It helped that I don't comprehend anything I read; it has always been about the joy of escape and experiencing a story unfold.) Heidi by Johanna Spyri inspired my dream to visit Switzerland one day (no longer an ambition). The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew corroborated my experience as the eldest child (of 4). And The Bobbsey Twins by the Seashore let me dance with the tension of mystery and intrigue without being scared (too much). That and I remember being fascinated by the possibility of having two sets of twins in one family.

I vowed that if I ever had children - they would have as many books as they desired.

And as fortunate would have it, I had two children who adored books as much as me. As toddlers and preschoolers, they were regulars at the Potsdam Library story-time, and every week, we came home with as many books as we could carry.

At the ripe age of three, Kiddo #1’s ambition was to get his own library card. The librarian told him that as soon as he could sign (write) his own name - he could get one. He practiced and practiced, and by the time his fourth birthday rolled around, he indeed had his very own. Then, around the age of ten or eleven, his card expired. He told us it was because he had read every children's & YA book in the Potsdam Library - honestly, it wasn't much of a stretch. Needless to say his sibling, followed in his footsteps.

As tweens & teens, they frequented the Canton Free Library and developed a passion for graphic novels (Usagi Yojimbo, Copper, & Amulet...), plus in Kiddo #2’s case - any story that involved horses. Additionally, they both built valuable relationships with the folks there.

Besides the bags of books from the library each week - once they started pre-school, we ordered from Scholastic, every trip to Massachusetts to visit their cousins' included a stop at Barnes & Noble, and then came Amazon and the ability to buy books anytime they wanted. It is not an exaggeration to say these kiddos had loads and loads of books - in honor of my long-ago promise, they were the one thing we always indulged in. (Bonus - most of those books now reside at Deep Root Center.)

Yes, books have always been the mainstay of libraries for all of us book lovers - but in today's world, they offer so much more. Libraries have evolved with the times to become the true backbone of each community they serve. They are the media, cultural, educational, & community centers. (You can even borrow tools - or, in DRC's case this week - market tents.) Additionally, libraries are acknowledged safe spaces for everyone.

Our librarians and library workers are actual heroes who imagine and then work tirelessly to orchestrate that beautiful cornucopia of offerings for anyone who wishes to partake. To be clear, these are the folks you want on your side when the going gets rough. They know how to get $h!t done - while smiling at you with encouragement the whole time!

Sending out big love to all the libraries and the folks who keep them running! Thank you for always being there for my family and all the DRC Kiddos.

This is an invitation to share your Library Love stories in the comments or with friends. You can also encourage community support for these amazing people and places who are responsible for helping to raise generations of responsible citizens who are excited about learning.

Sadly, due to Friday's extreme weather event, flooding, and concerns about safe travel, we had to cancel the DRC Craft Fair/Family Fun Event scheduled for yesterday. Watch for the rescheduled date - likely this late summer/fall. 

Thank you to everyone who had a hand in planning, lending us tents, and agreeing to participate - we look forward to seeing everyone soon.

To continue the library love theme - huge shouts of thanks to the Massena Library for agreeing to host the DRC Pop-ups every Thursday afternoon beginning Sept. 12th. Click here for more info about the Pop-ups.

Register for Summer Program here. It begins next week!

We, humans, were designed to make judgment calls - it is what kept our early hominid cousins alive. On the plains of Africa thousands of years ago, anything that appeared different was potentially life-threatening.

In our modern world, that instinct has little practical use. So, instead of saving our lives - our judgments about anything that does not fit our worldview are given derogatory labels to separate 'us' from 'them' - to artificially create the 'other.' Because when someone becomes your enemy, it is OK to hurt (hate) them.

As Illinois Governor JB Pritzker famously said during his Northwestern University commencement speech, "Empathy and compassion are evolved states of being. They require the mental capacity to step past our most primal urges."

We no longer need our base instincts of distrust to keep us safe. Humans have advanced, and if our species is going to survive beyond the next hundred years - we need to lead with compassion - it absolutely is the only way forward.

As JB Pritzker said, "The kindest person in the room is often the smartest."

Leading with openness, love, and acceptance is not a weakness - but full-on strength and brilliance.

I would also say that anyone who can't be kind or find compassion within themselves - their judgments are on them and them alone - not the responsibility of the person or group they are denigrating and certainly not of wider society. No one needs to apologize for who they are because someone is critical of something about them - that they likely can't change anyway (skin color, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, neurological makeup, etc.).

Go - rock your individuality with a quiet humility & confidence that can only inspire those around you.

Since returning from my month-long adventure earlier this week, I have had trouble getting my head back in the game. I have made silly mistakes and struggled to stay focused (both more than usual).

Everyone I spoke to on Friday had a similar experience when they returned home to their standard routine.

We each have unconscious, established habits that are largely thrown out the window when on vacation. Then, when we return, it is as if our brains and bodies need to get synced back up to our old "normal." For some, it takes a few days - for others (me), it will take longer.

It has not helped my case that after a month of not thinking (obsessing) about DRC (beyond the basics) - I have necessarily been tossed back into the fray.

Therefore, if you see a glazed look on my face and notice that I am having difficulty gathering my words into cohesive sentences over the next few weeks (again, even more than usual, it is only because the shock has not worn off yet. In addition, my brain keeps churning out more and more ideas while I am still catching up with all the many things that need doing this time of year - plus organizing a Craft Fair/Family Fun Day.

For those of you right here with me - I see you.

This one is a quick post at the tail end of my summer adventure to document some observations I made this evening while sitting on the beach in southern Michigan.

I am a people watcher. It has been a favorite pastime since I was young. No matter where I am - I settle in to watch and listen (eavesdrop). The one thing that I have noticed increasingly over the past 15-20 years is that kids are less and less likely allowed to be kids.

While eating a picnic supper, I sat on a rock listening to a parent hassle and berate her children while they climbed on the rock jetty. These kiddos wore life vests, and the rocks were large and flat - like stepping stones. I sat there silently, wishing she would simply hush and let them follow their interests, curiosity, and excitement into the crevices, nooks, and crannies of the giant stones. I was saddened beyond words - in that moment their natural desire for exploration and discovery, along with the unending energy of childhood, was thwarted.

Therefore, I was heartened to see, as I walked back along the lake edge to the parking lot, a young boy (9-10 years old) all by himself, digging a hole and collecting seagull feathers of varying sizes to place very precisely and carefully in his creation as the water lapped at his feet. Was it pure art or some other imaginative creation with a specific purpose? I will never know. But that child will have that experience to call upon his entire life.

Next week, I will be back in the proverbial saddle. I heard that the sewer line project was started. I don't have any details - those will have to wait till next Sunday.

Last Sunday, after a fun day in the sun at the Lincoln Park Zoo and the beach, my son brought me to lunch and nervously approached me about the 4-day drive I had planned from Chicago to Portland.

He presented all the facts - things I had been mulling over silently for a day or so when I realized that each driving day would be at least nine hours. And that I would have to turn around a week later to do it again.

Even though the task seemed daunting - I was not even considering an alternative - until he brought it up. He created the opening for me to say (inside my head) - "What in the hell am I thinking?"

Honestly, I don't think he believed I would capitulate so easily. The flight was booked upon returning to his apartment that afternoon.

Sometimes, we need the options spelled out explicitly before we can see them as possibilities. And occasionally, we need the reminder that there is no harm or shame in pulling back from an original plan and switching gears mid-stream. Thanks for creating that space for me to do all that, "kiddo" #1.
 
*I will be flying back to Chicago next Saturday; therefore, there will likely not be a Blog Post next week - unless I am inspired midweek to write.

Mount Hood as we approached PDX and Luna "the adorable"

Thank you!
We are delighted to announce that the Cloudsplitter Foundation funded one-half of the sewer line repair project from their Rapid Response Grant with a $5000 check.

That, along with the $2000 from the Canton Community Fund and the $650 in donations, allows the project to begin. The contractor is hoping to start this coming week.

Summer Program

We had been holding off on promoting the summer program, not knowing if the sewer line would be fixed. Knowing it will be - we can now accept registrations. Find the sign-up form here.

Craft Fair
We are still looking for vendors and food trucks for our craft fair. Registration is here.

Last weekend, I was with several folks (my Peeps) at the Liberated Learners conference. Even though we all belong to the network and subscribe to the same philosophy, every single Center in the network is unique. The most significant variable determining that difference is that we serve a different demographic. In some cases (DRC), wildly different.

Most Liberated Learners Centers are in urban or suburban communities that encounter challenges that require contrasting solutions to what DRC faces with our rural population. This means our messaging within each of those individual communities needs to vary significantly.

Therefore, when asked what DRC's central message is, I immediately said, "safety."  DRC is a safe place for everyone - no matter your gig. Because I often hear that many kids and their parents do not/did not feel secure in their current/former educational environment, it is the most fundamentally human yet profound benefit we can offer.

To put it plainly - if you do not feel safe (emotionally or physically) - you can not learn.

What other concepts should we include in our future messaging?
I have used - flexibility, kindness, supporting curiosity & creativity, and all-inclusive. What am I missing - what do we offer that is unique to the community we serve?

Comment on this blog post or send your thoughts to me directly.

Thank you!

Summer Travel

I am currently in Chicago with my son and his wife. I will leave for the next part of the adventure next Tuesday to arrive in Portland next Friday. You may receive a post next week - depending on energy levels, time, and inspiration.  Again - no promises...

I went rogue (ignored Google Maps Lady) to find a beach on Lake Erie after spending 6 hours driving and before selecting a place to stay on Monday. Despite being an obviously economically depressed area, the town had a very cool library on the beach. They were hosting a beach play time with pails, shovels, and beach toys that kids signed out.  One small child looked at me and asked "Did you make your hair blue?"  My response was, "Yes, yes I did!" His mom looked mortified - but it totally made my day. Kids - being kids - asking questions cause they are genuinely curious.

Penny Lane was happy to greet me on Tuesday when I arrived at my son and daughter-in-law's place in the Albany Park neighborhood of Chicago.

The fireworks have been intense - but I always enjoy my time in the city. Something folks are often surprised to hear, considering I regularly spend a good portion of my time off-grid in the woods.

I begin a month of travel this coming Friday when I head down to Langhorne, PA, to meet up with the Liberated Learner Crew at our sister center Bucks Learning Cooperative for our annual conference.

Except for the two pandemic years and last year, I have been traveling to the Liberated Learner conference (generally held near Amherst, MA. at North Star) since 2013 - before LL was even really a network - just a big (good) idea. It is honestly the highlight of my year.

There are new people to meet and old friends to catch up with at every conference. The best part is being with folks who understand on an unparalleled level what I do and the multitude of challenges I experience as the face of an organization that embraces a philosophy so far from "the norm" that we must explain it as a new paradigm. To say that these are "my" Peeps is an understatement.

From the east side of PA, I will head to Chicago to spend time with my son and his wife, and then I will drive across a few big states to Portland, OR, to stay with kiddo number two and their partner for a week before retracing my steps back to Chicago and then home.  

I have not been to their places to stay since 2019 (except for my son's wedding - mid-pandemic). They have come home a few times since then - I am so looking forward to hanging out with them in their environments for an extended time.

And as much as I love and appreciate all "my peeps" here, I am excited to travel alone with no other human or organizational responsibilities - simply enjoying each moment/experience as it comes - (just me and my brain )- allowing all the cool ideas to come forward in the monotony of those thousands of miles.

There will not be a Blog Post next week. I may catch up with you all from Chicago - but I'm not making any promises. Until next time - Happy Summer!

A few weeks ago, I stayed with my mom for two nights. She is in her early 80s, but no one believes her age due to her incredible genetics and determination to continue doing all the things she loves.

My mom is passionate about nature, flowers, and decorating. Though I don't think she would call herself an artist, she has an artistic eye and adores a good aesthetic. During my visit, she spent hours turning a small open lean-to into a beautifully decorated "she-shed" next to her outdoor patio and small water tank swimming pool - where she can hang a curtain for privacy and use it as a changing room to get out of her wet swimsuit. (Oh, yes, she also loves water.) Her yard is a haven for birds and small critters, with a small pond that my brother built long ago. Mom has birdhouses scattered around her yard - occupied by young bird families. She delights in watching their antics.

She recently bought an electric riding lawn mower with a small wagon attached to the back that she uses to do all her own yard work. She had a clear vision of her shed and knew she had all the necessary pieces around the property. While I was working on my weekly blog post at the patio table under the umbrella, she brought out the mower, attached the wagon, gathered all the components onto it, and drove them to the patio.

She wanted a piece of lattice (leftover from a long-ago project) hiding behind the barn, attached to the back wall. Before she loaded it on her wagon and brought it over, she measured the space and then the lattice. She thought it was exact. But when she got it in the shed, she struggled to make it fit - it was a tad too long. Between the two of us, we bent it and forced it to fit into the space - perfectly.

Indeed, I know where my natural perseverance and "can do" attitude come from. My mom is a natural problem solver. If something isn't quite right - she will experiment and find the best solution with what she has.

She then spent a few hours painting half of the lattice (reluctantly saving the rest for another day) after discovering that she had a quart of paint left from another project and a small roller. I have not seen the finished product yet, but I can only imagine it is set up exactly as she had envisioned.

As mentioned, she loves nature and water. She goes camping and kayaking in the mountains all through the summer - sometimes alone and other times with friends or my siblings. (I don't like camping because - BUGS!)

A few years ago, she learned about Hornbeck canoes. They are ultra-lightweight, locally made (in the Adirondacks), and perfect for one person to load onto a car for transport. Before she purchased one, she had been putting her kayak inside her Prius - it fit from back to front diagonally with zero room to spare. (She only cracked her windshield once when she put it in on the wrong angle and pushed it a little too hard. And then there is the hilarious story of her picking up my six-foot-tall son to go camping together forgetting that with the kayak in the car, Ian would have to scooch under it in the back with the seat down - all the way to the camp.) Now, she can put her Hornbeck on top of her Prius - by herself (and have passengers).

In recent years, she (hesitantly and cautiously) has forged (dipped her toes) into the land of technology. She has had success, which has allowed her to Facetime with my siblings almost every day and talk to her grandchildren (who all live out of State). She also knows how to "Google" to seek information and scroll through FaceBook and Instagram. Although she sometimes struggles with her phone and iPad and comes up against things that frustrate her -  she sticks with it and figures things out (or waits until one of us can come and fix or explain it to her) -  I am proud of her for not giving up.  

Staying active through her interests and being curious and open to learning new things has kept her young at heart. Yes, she moves a bit slower, has to take breaks, and has learned (mostly) when to put things away to be picked up another day - so she doesn't exhaust herself (something we should all learn to do) - nonetheless, she is excited about exploring all the possibilities that every day presents. I can only hope that in 20-odd years, folks will be able to say the same about me.

The sewer line debacle continues. I am waiting to hear how much of the total we are responsible for and about the grants I wrote.

Thank you to the American Legion in Massena for the $1000 donation to be used for operations and programs.

Our fundraising thermometer for this year is sitting at $22,500. We have two weeks to the end of this fiscal year - won't you help us reach our goal of $25,000?

Any individual or business - who donates $1000.00+ will have their names/logos added to our "Thank You Tree Mural."

You can contribute to our plumbing fund here or our general donation page here.  Thank You!

*Note - credit for the title and inspiration for almost everything I have done over the past few weeks and documented in this post goes to the brilliant content creator Elyse Myers. If you have not seen her video about doing it scared, take a look here.


Just do it...scared, anxious, overwhelmed, & exhausted...is a message seemingly intended just for me that I needed to incorporate into my days. Because, frankly, I often find life itself overwhelming, anxiety-producing, scary, and utterly exhausting.

Thanks to my spicy neurology, I have a plethora of contradictory characteristics but for the sake of brevity, I will only list a few that regularly come into play.

• I appear super confident and behave like I can do anything - yet I likely won't do something someone tells me to do (PDA). Additionally, I always expect that people are upset with me and that I have forgotten a pertinent detail and failed them (RSD).
• I am a problem solver; pushing up my sleeves, brainstorming, experimenting, getting inventive, and getting the job done is second nature - yet, inside, I am overwhelmed and need to bargain with myself to do all the things I know need to be done - unless it is one of my purely creative projects, then I will get lost in it forever.
• I appear organized (everything has a home and goes back to it when I am done with it - a necessary hack that I have developed over time that is now automatic) - yet I struggle to keep files, important documents, and receipts in order - they have a way of hiding from me when I need them to complete grants and other critical forms.
• I refuse to wallow (blame others) or be defeated by the hard stuff - yet I have panic attacks at the mere thought of picking up the phone to call someone (anyone), meeting with people, and admitting that I need to ask for help.

Despite all that - over these past few weeks, I did all the difficult tasks (calling, meeting, explaining, searching for necessary files and documents, and asking for help) while scared, anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted. Yes, I took this Thursday off to rest and recover - but I was back at it on Friday and will be again on Monday.

And, as I explained to one board member when they commiserated, "...this sewer line crisis has forced me to explore options and talk to people I should have - a very long time ago." Yup, just one more example of a contradiction: I despise drama, hyperbole, and exaggeration - yet I am at my best when the stakes are at their highest.

If I can do life...scared, anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted - you can too. Just remember to follow your intuition and rest when you need it. However, knowing when you are hiding (escaping, avoiding) instead of taking a required break to recover is invaluable.

DRC News

Thank You
Gratitude to the J.M. McDonald Foundation for funding $3000.00 toward our "Healing through Mentoring and Free Creative Expression" Project.

And thanks to the Massena VFW for the recent $500 donation.

Thank you to everyone for the concern and suggestions on our social media posts about the sewer line debacle. Many have expressed disbelief that the homeowner is responsible for the pipes in the middle of the road. As I explained, this is the way Canton deals with it. Apparently, it is a common practice.

That green circle with the X indicated where the sewer line break is. The contractor came out Monday and informed us that he has to cut through the pavement, dig all the way back to the tree line, remove the debris to off site, replace the old line with new, fill it in with fresh dirt, redo the side walk and repave the road (oh, and remove and replace the road sign). He said all together it is a $10k job! This is not a simple fix. The village has agreed to help. The contractor was going to meet with the DPW to find out what that would look like - as of now, I have not heard back from him.

I learned on Friday that our homeowner's insurance will not cover it. Apparently, they didn't even have that type of coverage when our agent wrote the policy nearly 6 years ago.

I have written a couple of grants to cover the costs - now we are waiting to hear from them.

In the meantime, you can help by contributing to our plumbing fund here. Thank you to those who have already contributed - we are currently at $575.

The potentially insulting adage "Keep it simple, stupid," is advice I can enthusiastically get behind. The main reason is my ability to get easily overwhelmed and confused by unnecessary (at least in my opinion) complexity.

This is why I am hyper-aware about creating visual breaks in anything I write. Short paragraphs are my signature. They create space around the ideas for people to take time to digest the information. I appreciate simple, straightforward language and presentation of ideas so everything is accessible to everyone. Not to say that I don't have a fondness for crafting a well-turned phrase or using - what I call "chewy" words - the ones you can sink your teeth into - that are expressive and the total opposite of boring.  

Over the last few weeks, I have been inundated with convoluted language in instructions, forms, grant directives, and bureaucratic documents. Which translates in my brain as inaccessible gibberish. No amount of rereading and honest attempts to decipher allows me to understand what is being presented. Besides overwhelming and exhausting me, this has the unfortunate result of making me feel dense or just plain dumb.

Accessibility is the key. It is disappointing, frustrating, and mind-numbingly infuriating that people (companies and government entities) go to the extreme to make things unreachable, ultra-pretentious, and exclusive to a particular closed demographic which intentionally keeps a large portion of the population feeling stupid or unworthy without the means to get clarification or achieve the results they need to move forward. Folks shouldn't need to jump through hoops or seek out someone in the social services sector to be a translator.

Please - Just Keep it Simple...

The plumbing situation in Canton became much more complicated than roots growing into the pipe after Cornerstone Heating, Plumbing, & Cooling spent all day Monday working to figure it out.
Turns out it wasn't the trees' fault. The DRC sewer line is broken under the street a few feet before it attaches to the main line.

Shout of thanks to the owner of Cornerstone for his compassion in only charging us for the first employee's labor and not billing us for the machine or his time. We are grateful for their kindness and professionalism.

So what does this all mean?

According to Village regulations - DRC is legally responsible for hiring a contractor to dig it up & fix the sewer line. The village superintendent was on vacation, but I spoke to the Mayor on Tuesday, after the DPW guys confirmed it is indeed broken with their camera, asking if their was any way the village could help us out. He said he was seeking ideas for us.

To be completely transparent - DRC has zero funds to put into this endeavor. I cannot in good faith hire a contractor to dig up the street and repair the pipes knowing that I won't be able to pay them. I do have a call into our insurance agent to see if by any miracle our homeowners will cover it.

I will talk to folks at the Village office this coming week, after Memorial Day, and then we wait for possible solutions to present themselves. We will gratefully receive all the positive energy you can send.

We are terminating the lease on our Massena Center at 47 Perkins Dr. on May 31st. This means there are five days to pack up, empty, and clean the space after our last day on May 24th. Please let us know if you are available to help with this endeavor. All hands are appreciated - including the kiddos.

We will be there all day on Monday scrubbing and painting - stop in if you would like to help.

There are also 3 couches and 2 organs that need a home - let us know if you would like to come and get them.

The DRC Pop-Ups are coming to the Massena area this Fall. Any homeschooling family is welcome to join us 2 days a week at various host venues. They are set up to be pay-as-you-go. The stamp cards can be purchased ahead of time by following the below link or the first day your child attends.

Each child is $8 each day they attend. One stamp card can be used for multiple children in a family. Purchase here: https://omella.com/d7wj

A few photos from this past week, to highlight the essence of childhood - free imaginative play.

The end of our academic year is quickly approaching. Both Centers have their last day on Friday, May 24th. Then we are terminating the lease on our Massena Center at 47 Perkins Dr. on May 31st. This means we have one week to pack up, empty, and clean the space after our last day on May 24th. Please let us know if you are available to help with this endeavor. All hands are appreciated - including the kiddos.

I take my responsibility to DRC and, by extension, the kids, their families, and the wider community very seriously. There is a reason I was voted the "most dedicated" of my 1983 St. Lawrence Central graduating class.

I have, for the most part, changed beyond recognition since then - but that characteristic remains an underlying part of my identity. Therefore, when someone accuses me of not doing my job - I take it to heart and examine the situation closely. 

In this case, this past week, in a string of emails, a parent informed me that DRC does not hold kids responsible for anything. She said she would report us and that she had already let people know that it is an ineffective program that they should avoid sending their kids to.

The thread of emails was hard to read because - 1. of the accusations and threats she was throwing around, and 2. it was poorly written, with little punctuation and zero consideration for spelling or grammar. As I slowly deciphered the messages, I realized that she was upset (and pitching a fit) because the school was requesting an April quarterly report after she had re-enrolled him in school - that she did not have.

Upon further investigation, I discovered that I had spoken to the teen (who I remember being a delight) and written the original IHIP at the end of January - when they had joined DRC. Then I realized the parent had only brought the child to the Center once since then. We contacted her several times over that period to check and make sure he was OK.  Then I noticed that she had informed us of the re-enrollment four days before the reports were due.

So this parent accused DRC of not holding kids accountable - when she only brought him once in three and one-half months. I (hopefully) resolved the situation by remaining outwardly professional (meanwhile pitching an internal private hissy fit) and offered to write the April Quarterly Report immediately with the list of activities, classes, and projects she provided.

The hardest (saddest) part of this story is that this awesome teen with excellent communication skills had the opportunity to follow his interests (the law and theatrical art) right now by independently burying himself in Supreme Court cases and creating costumes but now has to sit in a classroom to be force-fed information that he finds irrelevant to his future goals.

I find it interesting (hilarious, frustrating, and infuriating) that DRC is accused of not holding kids accountable because they are not coerced to do the things they do not want to do - when that accusation cannot be further from the truth.

As a direct result of all that built-in freedom, kids own every single decision they make (whether it is impulsive or well thought out). When they do mess up, they know who was responsible and understand they are the ones who need to repair any damages (physical and emotional) they incurred. They can try to pass the buck - but at the end of the day, the truth will come back to bite them - directly - in the butt. Instead of telling kids what to do (or not to do) and how to do it - they learn through the consequences of their actions.

We have the awe-inspiring (exhausting) privilege of supporting (and loving) them through it all - the reparations and (sometimes) brutal lessons - eventually cheering them on through their triumphs.

Thank you to Northern Credit Union for their sponsorship of $350. It was a pleasure to meet the Gouverneur branch staff this past Wednesday.

Friday was Esme's (the amazing SLU volunteer) last day at DRC-Canton this year. She had the kiddos create egg protectors to do an egg drop. Some creations were more successful than others. Thank you, Esme, we hope to see you again next year!

Ten years ago, when DRC first opened, and I was desperate for families to discover us, I remember one of the first conversations I had with a parent about their child being able to go to college and ultimately make a living if they pursued self-directed learning. I said, "By the time your child is eighteen, there will be jobs and careers that haven't been imagined yet; they might even be creating their own." That sentence that I have, by this point, uttered thousands of times has become a prophecy. 

Recently, a child visiting the Canton Center recognized some stuffed key-chain creatures hanging from another child's backpack. I obviously had no clue why she was so excited to see them. She explained, with her Mom's help, that they were characters from a social media influencer. 

This YouTuber/TikToker not only earns from the platform - but also has popular merchandise highly sought after by a specific age group and is raking in the bucks.

Could we have imagined that career path or any of the hundreds of new ideas that have cropped up in the past ten years?

At this point, technology and innovation are moving so fast, and my Neuro-Spicy memory is so bad - that I have no idea how advanced YouTube was in 2014 or if TikTok existed. I do know that social media has exploded - in terms of the number of creators. The amount is staggering, not counting the hackers and folks stealing content - which is fodder for another post. 

People are leaving traditional jobs at an unprecedented rate. They are no longer willing to sacrifice their lives to years of mindless, unfairly compensated toil for the "man." Additionally, folks do not feel obligated to stay with one employer their entire working career out of (misguided) loyalty - they are willing to explore options while gaining new skills. The "next big thing" may not have been invented yet - but at this rate, it is right around the corner, and our kids will be the ones who imagine it or maybe even re-imagine something that already exists. 

This is precisely why we, as a society, require open-minded, curious young people who are self-aware and socially conscious, possess keen observation and creative problem-solving skills, can think critically in the moment, have practical knowledge of how things operate, and are unafraid of stepping outside the box, experimenting (playing), and getting messy.

DRC and other self-directed learning spaces are here for those kids to practice all those skills. What's the next phenomenon, you ask? Stay tuned - they are working on it, and it'll become an accepted/expected part of our culture before you can blink.

Thanks again to board member and parent, Tiffanie Jacob of Hi-Res Poetry Photography for taking our photos for the Memory Books. She was at the Massena Center on Thursday. Thanks, also, to board member and volunteer mentor Kris Rozelle, for spending time with our Massena kiddos on Thursday and going on a photography excursion with one of the teens.

Both Centers had plenty going on this past week. Only three weeks left before the summer break!

I have the extreme privilege of watching kids learn by exploring their interests through free play, imagination, and creativity, following their curiosity and the resulting experimentation, mistakes, and successes. I witness the intricacies of developing relationships and the natural chaos that ensues when varying (and very much differing) personalities work things out (with occasional reminders about respect and kindness). Additionally, I observe kids trying things sometimes for the first time, failing, and succeeding - from filling a dishwasher (Do you really think that bowl will get clean sitting upright filled with food remnants on top of the other dishes?) to generating a menu for the week based on the food in the freezer, working out a division problem, wielding a hammer to build a cabin, or mopping up the mud they tracked into the kitchen on their boots.

So, when I go out into the real world to explain what we do at DRC and why we are successful, I am somehow still surprised by the questions rooted in our cultural understanding of education.

Even though they have seen the results, many still can't wrap their heads around the concept of - no grades, no tests, no homework, no compulsory attendance or classes, and the absolute trust we have in the natural learning process for every child.

As I told the group of professionals I spoke with on Wednesday - our chief concern as a society should be happy, thriving kids. Because we have all been around unhappy kiddos - and know all too well how they can suck the life force out of any room. I should have added - that supporting kids to know themselves (inside and out), including having a keen understanding of how they learn, being excited about exploring and discovering new things and becoming well-versed in problem-solving and basic life skills - is how we get those happy kids. All of the rest will naturally follow.

Forcing a child to sit through a math (history, science, English, etc.) class doesn't mean they will learn any of those things. Don't even get me started on the over-the-top ridiculous fear-mongering ads touting the STEM project and activity kits you can purchase and then shepherd (hand-hold) your child/infant through so they will "love learning/science/etc." 

When the "lessons" are optional and relevant to each individual, and we come to them from a place of excitement and wonder, only then will they gain stickiness and find their permanent place in our brains.

Stickiness is how we explained the cohesion of water molecules in Kitchen Sink Science on Friday when each kid placed water droplets on their penny with a pipette and watched them bubble up on top. They understood that the water molecules really like each other (are best buds) and stick together like magnets to create surface tension. 

That tension between the questions (really wanting to know), the joy of exploration, and the actual discovery is the precise junction where the love of learning is ignited. We trust that it all happens naturally - without adult manipulation (tricks, rewards, or punishment) or coercion.

This past week, I have been sick with a sinus infection and bronchitis brought on by my allergies (yes, again). I usually push through and continue my routine - but with the fever, coughing, and headache, I found that nearly impossible this time. (I actually left early on Thursday & closed the Center on Friday.) What I especially became aware of is how low my tolerance levels are when I am sick - but then I realized it also extends to any time I am feeling exceedingly overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious. And the "aha" moment came when I clearly understood that it was directly related to my neurodivergence.

The best way to describe it is that (even on a good day) it feels like every nerve fiber lies exposed on the surface of my skin, and the slightest disturbance sends them all into chaos. So when I feel swamped (by any of the thousands of things), it is not just a mental "thing" - but very much physical. Hence, my tolerance levels plummet.

I call it my "tell it like it is” mode because I am brutally honest in those moments. It is like my brain needs to block everything but the essential information and I don't have the capacity to filter or equivocate. If I am feeling frustrated or overwhelmed - you will hear some truths. I try hard to come from a place of empathy and frame everything in kindness - admittedly, not always successfully.

I find it amusing that sarcasm is my superpower. I often joke that I will make a #Sarcasm shirt for the days I want to warn folks that I am feeling particularly spicy. Yet, I frequently miss the subtleties of satirical humor.

Reflecting, I don't think defaulting to my "tell it like it is" mode is necessarily wrong or bad. (It definitely beats my "shutdown" or "avoidance" mode. However, we won't count the excruciating number of mortifying times I have wished I had just shut up - after the fact.) Cutting through the BS to the bare essence of whatever we are dealing with is crucial to any issue or relationship. And although I appreciate an aesthetic as much as anyone else, I will not make something pretty just for the sake of prettiness or ease. I am your "go-to" person if you seek realness and unbridled candor magnified through a lens of compassion and served with a side of (cheeky) sarcasm.

Help Wanted

We are terminating the lease on our Massena Center at 47 Perkins Dr. on May 31st. This means we have one week to pack up, empty, and clean the space after our last day on May 24th.

Please let us know if you are available to help with this endeavor. All hands are appreciated - including the kiddos.

As mentioned, it was an off week at Canton - therefore, we didn't get many photos. I am on the mend, so hopefully, we will make up for it this coming week.

The Massena Center had a full week ending with a birthday celebration on Friday - donuts were the choice of birthday sweets. Yum! Happy Bday, JT.

We all have the opportunity to make choices that we feel are best for ourselves, our families, or the people we support through our work.

Earlier this week, I spoke with a person from a local agency who advocates for youth in St. Lawrence County. He recommended DRC to one of his families and brought the young person and their mom to visit.

Before they left, while the child was helping another DRC kid move a pallet from the front yard to the backyard, he said that after trying to get this kid to school and spending over an hour and a half coercing him every day, he realized he was only adding layers of trauma onto this poor kid. So when he understood that education doesn't necessarily have to be "school," he searched for an alternative and found DRC.

I am beyond grateful that there are people in the community advocating for our youth who recognize the harm in forcing young people to do what society has deemed the "right" thing and take the time to find a substitute because they understand it is best for the child.

When a child who has been refusing school (for a multitude of reasons) joins DRC between the ages of 5-11, we can usually help them overcome the trauma they endured. However, by the ages of 13-18, it is often too late. The harm has been so profound that these kids are convinced they are damaged goods (the "bad" kids) or have given up entirely, and it takes more than DRC's support to guide them toward a positive future.

This particular eleven-year-old did, in fact, join us and had a couple of days to settle in this week. This kid is a self-identified cook and baker and helped make the pizza from scratch on Thursday. I think he is going to fit into the crew beautifully - and I am so very glad his advocate decided that he did not want to participate in generating more trauma for this kiddo.

This is a reminder that we accept kiddos into our programs throughout the year, including the Pop-us coming to the greater Massena area in the fall. If you know of a child who is not thriving in school, please have them get in touch. We can help.

The Crews at Canton and Massena were happy to be back this week after our Spring Break. The Canton kiddos enjoyed a long discussion about the eclipse during morning check-in on Tuesday.