I have the extreme privilege of watching kids learn by exploring their interests through free play, imagination, and creativity, following their curiosity and the resulting experimentation, mistakes, and successes. I witness the intricacies of developing relationships and the natural chaos that ensues when varying (and very much differing) personalities work things out (with occasional reminders about respect and kindness). Additionally, I observe kids trying things sometimes for the first time, failing, and succeeding - from filling a dishwasher (Do you really think that bowl will get clean sitting upright filled with food remnants on top of the other dishes?) to generating a menu for the week based on the food in the freezer, working out a division problem, wielding a hammer to build a cabin, or mopping up the mud they tracked into the kitchen on their boots.

So, when I go out into the real world to explain what we do at DRC and why we are successful, I am somehow still surprised by the questions rooted in our cultural understanding of education.

Even though they have seen the results, many still can't wrap their heads around the concept of - no grades, no tests, no homework, no compulsory attendance or classes, and the absolute trust we have in the natural learning process for every child.

As I told the group of professionals I spoke with on Wednesday - our chief concern as a society should be happy, thriving kids. Because we have all been around unhappy kiddos - and know all too well how they can suck the life force out of any room. I should have added - that supporting kids to know themselves (inside and out), including having a keen understanding of how they learn, being excited about exploring and discovering new things and becoming well-versed in problem-solving and basic life skills - is how we get those happy kids. All of the rest will naturally follow.

Forcing a child to sit through a math (history, science, English, etc.) class doesn't mean they will learn any of those things. Don't even get me started on the over-the-top ridiculous fear-mongering ads touting the STEM project and activity kits you can purchase and then shepherd (hand-hold) your child/infant through so they will "love learning/science/etc." 

When the "lessons" are optional and relevant to each individual, and we come to them from a place of excitement and wonder, only then will they gain stickiness and find their permanent place in our brains.

Stickiness is how we explained the cohesion of water molecules in Kitchen Sink Science on Friday when each kid placed water droplets on their penny with a pipette and watched them bubble up on top. They understood that the water molecules really like each other (are best buds) and stick together like magnets to create surface tension. 

That tension between the questions (really wanting to know), the joy of exploration, and the actual discovery is the precise junction where the love of learning is ignited. We trust that it all happens naturally - without adult manipulation (tricks, rewards, or punishment) or coercion.

This past week, I have been sick with a sinus infection and bronchitis brought on by my allergies (yes, again). I usually push through and continue my routine - but with the fever, coughing, and headache, I found that nearly impossible this time. (I actually left early on Thursday & closed the Center on Friday.) What I especially became aware of is how low my tolerance levels are when I am sick - but then I realized it also extends to any time I am feeling exceedingly overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious. And the "aha" moment came when I clearly understood that it was directly related to my neurodivergence.

The best way to describe it is that (even on a good day) it feels like every nerve fiber lies exposed on the surface of my skin, and the slightest disturbance sends them all into chaos. So when I feel swamped (by any of the thousands of things), it is not just a mental "thing" - but very much physical. Hence, my tolerance levels plummet.

I call it my "tell it like it is” mode because I am brutally honest in those moments. It is like my brain needs to block everything but the essential information and I don't have the capacity to filter or equivocate. If I am feeling frustrated or overwhelmed - you will hear some truths. I try hard to come from a place of empathy and frame everything in kindness - admittedly, not always successfully.

I find it amusing that sarcasm is my superpower. I often joke that I will make a #Sarcasm shirt for the days I want to warn folks that I am feeling particularly spicy. Yet, I frequently miss the subtleties of satirical humor.

Reflecting, I don't think defaulting to my "tell it like it is" mode is necessarily wrong or bad. (It definitely beats my "shutdown" or "avoidance" mode. However, we won't count the excruciating number of mortifying times I have wished I had just shut up - after the fact.) Cutting through the BS to the bare essence of whatever we are dealing with is crucial to any issue or relationship. And although I appreciate an aesthetic as much as anyone else, I will not make something pretty just for the sake of prettiness or ease. I am your "go-to" person if you seek realness and unbridled candor magnified through a lens of compassion and served with a side of (cheeky) sarcasm.

Help Wanted

We are terminating the lease on our Massena Center at 47 Perkins Dr. on May 31st. This means we have one week to pack up, empty, and clean the space after our last day on May 24th.

Please let us know if you are available to help with this endeavor. All hands are appreciated - including the kiddos.

As mentioned, it was an off week at Canton - therefore, we didn't get many photos. I am on the mend, so hopefully, we will make up for it this coming week.

The Massena Center had a full week ending with a birthday celebration on Friday - donuts were the choice of birthday sweets. Yum! Happy Bday, JT.

We all have the opportunity to make choices that we feel are best for ourselves, our families, or the people we support through our work.

Earlier this week, I spoke with a person from a local agency who advocates for youth in St. Lawrence County. He recommended DRC to one of his families and brought the young person and their mom to visit.

Before they left, while the child was helping another DRC kid move a pallet from the front yard to the backyard, he said that after trying to get this kid to school and spending over an hour and a half coercing him every day, he realized he was only adding layers of trauma onto this poor kid. So when he understood that education doesn't necessarily have to be "school," he searched for an alternative and found DRC.

I am beyond grateful that there are people in the community advocating for our youth who recognize the harm in forcing young people to do what society has deemed the "right" thing and take the time to find a substitute because they understand it is best for the child.

When a child who has been refusing school (for a multitude of reasons) joins DRC between the ages of 5-11, we can usually help them overcome the trauma they endured. However, by the ages of 13-18, it is often too late. The harm has been so profound that these kids are convinced they are damaged goods (the "bad" kids) or have given up entirely, and it takes more than DRC's support to guide them toward a positive future.

This particular eleven-year-old did, in fact, join us and had a couple of days to settle in this week. This kid is a self-identified cook and baker and helped make the pizza from scratch on Thursday. I think he is going to fit into the crew beautifully - and I am so very glad his advocate decided that he did not want to participate in generating more trauma for this kiddo.

This is a reminder that we accept kiddos into our programs throughout the year, including the Pop-us coming to the greater Massena area in the fall. If you know of a child who is not thriving in school, please have them get in touch. We can help.

The Crews at Canton and Massena were happy to be back this week after our Spring Break. The Canton kiddos enjoyed a long discussion about the eclipse during morning check-in on Tuesday.

The Centers were off this past week for Spring Break, which is extended through Monday for the solar eclipse.

We are welcoming a crew from Boston to the NoCo for the event. They plan on touring the Canton Center late Monday morning.

Please be safe - get your eclipse glasses if you plan on looking at it in progress (I know the Canton, Massena, and Potsdam libraries have them for free), and don't be on the roads while it is happening. Find your viewing spot well ahead of time and settle in for the show.

You can order your shirt with our exclusive eclipse design to celebrate the experience.

Till next week - take care!