Oxymoronic or Paradoxical

 I am an intensely competitive person who has spent the past ten years building an environment designed to support and encourage people to focus on collaboration. So, which of the title terms works here?

Maybe it will become apparent with a bit of clarification.

In my head, the competition is always with myself - no one else. I expect exacting perfection from myself. As far as I can analyze it, the main reason is to avoid disappointing the people I make promises to and likely to prove to myself and others that despite being neurodivergent, I can absolutely do anything I say I will do - excellently.

Here are just a few examples:

• I hate being late - I don't want to make anyone wait on me - so I am often way(!) early. 
• I push myself to get things done earlier than I said I would, including trying to answer emails or messages as soon as I get them (but there are times things get lost or forgotten in the onslaught of communication I receive every day - which then spikes the "guiltometer".)
• I double, triple, & quadruple-check everything I send out to ensure no mistakes - but even then, I often miss something that I find as soon as I hit "send." (Cue the mortification.)
• I create (most) everything that goes into the world from DRC. This is totally something I take pride in. I consider myself a writer and creator and I am always trying to make my writing & designs better/more informational/(funnier) than the ones before. 
• I write everything in the Grammarly Editor app because I don't trust I will remember grammar or spelling rules and I want everything I write perfect. (Full disclosure - I never retained any grammar rules - despite a remedial class in college. I especially can't figure out where the freaking commas go, and I certainly can't spell worth shit.)
• I am devastated when I get below an A on any quiz or exam. (Which is even more perverse when you consider I don't believe in grades - or testing.)
• I need quiet and solitude for my brain to function optimally - yet, on the daily, happily choose to be surrounded by the noise and chaos a group of young people bring to any space.
• I like a challenge and love to learn new things - but I frequently get overwhelmed and frustrated with instructions and ditch them to eventually, after screwing up and making a huge mess, figure stuff out on my own. 
  
  

Lest you think I take myself entirely too seriously, I also treat making fun of myself as a competitive sport. (Honestly, it is way to easy and a guaranteed way to get a laugh.)

As hard as I am on myself, I am equally as easy on everyone around me. They all know the only thing I expect in spades is respect - in fact, it is our only rule at Deep Root Center: "Respect Yourself, Everyone Here, and this Place." And within the mutual appreciation, kindness, and care, collaboration is born. 

So, with this information - have you decided? Which am I - an oxymoron, a paradox, or something else I never considered? And how many of you identify way to closely with this entire narrative?

Either way, this is one more reason How do You Solve a Problem Like Maria is my theme song and will likely be my epitaph.

*Points for recognizing the musical it is from. (Ha, gotcha - there are no points or rewards - just a feeling of self-satisfaction!)
H/T to Kris R., our DRC- Canton Tuesday Volunteer and brand new board member, for instigating this thought process.

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DRC News

We have added four kiddos to our Massena Crew in the past two weeks and one to the Canton Crew. We are excited to welcome them to Deep Root Center.

In other news of additions - we are happy to announce two new board members to the DRC Fam. Welcome: Kris Rozelle, a local artist who has been volunteering at both Centers for the past few months and Lexi Marolf, the children's librarian at the Massena Library. Stay tuned for their bios on our Staff and Board page.

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We had a busy week at both Centers which also included birthday celebrations: