As we finish up this academic year and look towards next year, I wanted to let you know that we have some extraordinarily exciting projects on the horizon.
 
I can’t give anything away right now – but, these will both build Deep Root Center’s capacity as well as the scope of our programming.  We will accomplish all of this while maintaining our original mission to provide a facility, resources, support, and safe environment for all those young people who dream of creating an education around their interests and passions – outside of school.  
 
Over the next few weeks and months we will share details.  These changes, as you can imagine, will come at a significant financial cost.  The staff and board are committed to keeping our promise to never refuse a child because of their family’s financial situation; therefore, we will be reaching out in various ways to ask for your support.

We are deeply grateful for our generous community who has supported Deep Root Center for the past four years.  We look to you, as well as new folks who are just learning about DRC and all the services we provide those young people in St Lawrence County who rely on us.

​You can help as these projects move forward by setting up a recurring monthly or one-time donation here. The DRC Board is also seeking individuals who would like to contribute larger amounts to start an endowment towards our future.  Please get in touch with us to begin the conversation on how your fiscal support can help us quite literally change lives.

Dreams and aspirations are as unique as each individual person. They are what keep us moving forward – without them we stagnate, adopt negative attitudes, and become closed to all possibilities. 
 
But, what makes us stop dreaming in the first place?  I would hypothesize that the root cause of some cases of apathy is the absence of those basic needs I discussed in last week’s blog.  If you cannot imagine anything beyond basic survival, how can you aspire for more? 
 
However, in the cases of many of the young people I meet, who cannot put words to what they hope for the future, I believe it is because they were never given the opportunity or encouragement to pursue anything besides what is prescribed within the system. 
 
I can’t begin to explain the sadness I feel when I ask a seventeen or eighteen-year-old, “what do you envision as the next
step?”  And, they reply with a shrug or an “I don’t know.”  The spark of excitement I see in a younger child’s eyes when I ask the same question, simply, isn’t there. It is my fondest wish that in the short time they are with us at DRC, they too will find inspiration during a mentoring session, or, better yet, when they come to me in the middle of the day and say, “I would like to try …”. 

Imagine the difference if we always told (and modeled for) our children:

•  Explore, investigate, play, be silly, and have fun -  instead of do your homework, get good grades, and excel on the test.
•  Dig deep and become immersed – rather than skim the surface.
•  Be willing to make mistakes and learn from them – as an alternative to - be perfect.
• Seek out unusual opportunities – instead of - follow the culturally dictated path.
•  Embrace all your idiosyncrasies and be yourself – as opposed to - conform.
• Welcome change and be bold – rather than - be afraid.
• Accept responsibility – as an alternative to - blame.
• Be kind, compassionate, non-judgmental and be willing to work together in collaboration – as opposed to - be critical and competitive.
•  Dare to - create and design, envision all the possibilities, find allies, screw-up and apologize, scrutinize and probe new ideas, become absorbed and engrossed, and blaze your own personal journey based on your interests and passions – not those determined by society.  

 
 
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Anyone who has ever taken an Intro to Psych class, whether in high school, college, or studied it independently, will probably recognize Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory in which he placed the largest most fundamental needs at the bottom and the need for self-actualization at the very top.  As I understand his theory, if the physiological, safety, and loving/belonging needs are in deficit (not being met), then a person cannot achieve or experience feelings of esteem or self-actualization. 
 
This concept has immense implications in the world of self-directed learning.  We are asking our students to make important decisions that guide their education and life.  However, if they are experiencing deficiencies within those most basic needs, how on earth can they have enough intrinsic confidence to self-determine?
 
To be clear; these unmet needs are often derived from individual, personal emotional “stuff”, not simply the physical or external that can be provided by someone else.  Yes, you may have a roof over your head, three squares a day, and supportive, loving family and friends – however, if you are depressed or anxious, you probably feel unsafe and unloved.  You cannot simply show or tell another person that they have all they need to feel comfortable, safe, and loved - every single person has the authority to determine that for themselves.

I know that when I am suffering from allergies, apprehension, or even physical pain, I cannot focus.  I am flighty, hyper, and exceedingly uncreative.  ​​Which in turn makes me frustrated and angry at myself.  Fortunately, after reminding myself that I have a support system and the tools to deal with all of that negative emotion and angst, I am, in time, able to settle down and become confidently productive. ​

 This blog post comes after a week in which most of us (students and staff) spent a great deal of our time coping with potent and poignant emotional “stuff”. It was not always explicit; however, it did have over-arching effects on everything - from our academics to our personal relationships and social environment.
 
Through-out the week, there were many hugs, instances of strife, tears, times of jealousy, intense mentoring sessions, moments of thoughtfully staring into space, fierce kindness, laughter, and silliness, as well as deep, supportive friendships being tested and reaffirmed.  And, I was profoundly honored to witness and participate in it all.
 
Coming back to the Maslow’s Theory and self-directed learning – I believe that because we (again all of us, young people and adults at DRC) make it our priority to stop, reflect, witness, model, support (including a shoulder to cry on), and offer affectionate encouragement (mentoring), our students are able to, eventually (with every expectation that it may take years), learn the tools necessary to move forward to a place of safe, loving, productive, self-confidence and determination.  
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Beyond owning their educational choices, self-directed, life-learners are expected to take responsibility for all of it: their mistakes and achievements, their feelings, their moments of cruelty and kindness, their gifts, talents, and aspirations, as well as their ineptitudes – all of the bad, as well as the good. 
 
One of the first (and ongoing) lessons DRC students learn is that acknowledging their errors, whether intentional or accidental, (including their cra*ppy attitude when they were tired or angry) goes a long way in reparation.
 
To be clear, a forced (or enforced), “I’m sorry”, does not cut it.  I mean, really, how does compelling someone to apologize make anything better?  It will only exacerbate raw, resentful feelings on top of the original hurt.  As with everything else, a misdeed (whether yours or someone else’s) is, simply, one more opportunity for meaningful conversation.

​We firmly believe that learning empathy --- how to get along with those people who push – every - stinking - single - one - of - your buttons --- is the foundation for every other learning experience.  Blame and accusations will only lead to anger and retribution. The first step towards personal growth and compassionate communication comes when you are able to comprehend on a deep level that everyone is dealing with some kind of “sh*t” (small or big “stuff” that you may be privy to or not) and that they may not be able to respond in the way you want or expect.
 
Whether you are 6 or 106, your combined life experiences make up the current “You”.  Honor your uniquely, quirky, awesome human-ness by proudly owning it all – the triumphs that were born from the failings, the unintended detours that led to fantastic opportunities, and the unspeakable hurt, inflicted on and by you, which guided you to profound relationships. 
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Most parents are inclined to plan out their children’s futures (some more vocally than others).  We want them to be successful, per society’s expectations, which in today’s culture may include – participation in a gazillion extracurricular activities (with leadership roles), popularity, good grades (high honors), high school diploma (in NYS – Regents), admission into the best college (with a prestigious scholarship), college graduation (with a “useful” degree and don’t forget attaining the Dean’s List all 8 semesters, as well as Summa Cum Laude), graduate degree (see above), high paying job (with benefits), home, and eventually a family. 
 
What we forget is that all those high-flying achievements come at a cost and do not guarantee happiness.  In fact, if we are not employed at or learning something that excites and intrigues us, our strenuous efforts often insure the sense of being stuck on a hamster wheel – working hard, doing the same thing every day, but getting nowhere, with precious, little enjoyment in the process.  Alan Watts explained this eloquently years ago in this lecture, entitled: What if money was no object?
 
I would hazard to guess that much of our personal scenarios, as well as those expectations we place on our children are driven by the anxiety and fear related to this, ubiquitous, question, which is also often the first one adults ask young people upon meeting them: What do you want to be when you grow up? 
 
I love 13-year-old Logan Laplante’s response, from his 2013 TEDx Talk at the University of Nevada – “I want to be healthy and happy.”  Logan is a homeschooler who describes his education as hack-schooling, which is his version of un-schooling, so named by John Holt in the 1970s. I prefer to simply call this method of education, life-learning, because, I dislike the many connotations that can be inferred from the term un-schooling.

​Within life-learning, the student (young or old) immerses themselves completely by not only determining the topic, but also choosing the method of exploration, as well as the timing.  They become completely engaged in whatever they are most interested in – seeking out resources and learning as much as they possibly can, soliciting and working with mentors in that area of expertise, and soaking up invaluable experience by actually “doing it”.  They understand that undertaking one thing today does not preclude them from “working” at something completely different in the future (or even tomorrow).
 
 Life-Learners recognize that they can have more than one passion at a time - no door is closed as long as their mind is open to all of the possibilities and they are willing and determined to work hard to make it happen. This may mean attending college or trade school.  It could be obtaining an apprenticeship or internship. It may also include cultivating a new business as an entrepreneur or taking on several part-time gigs to determine what exactly lights their fire.
 
As both Logan and Alan indicate, success and achievement are determined by seeking out what you desire or makes you happy, and in doing so, inspires you to be a positive influence to others in the world.
 
In understanding all of that, let me rephrase the previous question: What would you like to do with your future?  What excites and motivates you?  Or, simply, what makes you smile?  
 
The answers are as infinite and as unique as the individuals responding.  Young or old - go - do what makes you happy and everything else will fall into place.  

PS - Congratulations to Maddi! (The young woman with the red hair and white sweater in the above picture.)  She has been accepted at SUNY Potsdam and plans on studying art in September.  We are so proud of her determination and hard-work.
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​She also has the distinction of being the first DRC "kid" to be accepted to college!

h/t to Emmy for inspiring this blog post with the question to a fellow student, what do you want to do ...?