Owning It All
* Today's DRC Blog post offers a very personal story related to health issues that is easily translated to whatever area of your life you have given over control to others.
**warning - impolite word usage
There is no denying that shitty things happen to all of us - stuff that we didn't ask for, and that is often beyond our control - the very act of being alive guarantees that fact. Nevertheless, I will argue, it is how we respond to the crap that defines and then determines our attitude - and at the end of the day, our authentic lives.
Blame is a typical response. It is so much easier to indict the perpetrator(s) or circumstance(s) for everything that has happened to you and take on the role of the victim than it is to own it and move on with positive intention.
Victim-hood then becomes the default setting. Opportunities become minefields of missed steps and useless self-flagellation, then within all that negativity, we ultimately, quite literally, set ourselves up for failure every single time.
I am offering the following personal story as a perfect example. For years I have battled lethargy, as well as the extra pounds that seemingly piled on from nowhere. A bit over four years ago, my then doctor diagnosed hypothyroidism and gave me synthetic thyroxin. My body reacted miserably - all of the symptoms of the disease became even worse. Besides the "foggy brain" and hair loss, the intensely uncomfortable rosacea covering my face put me over the edge, and I stopped taking the med without consulting my doctor.
One year later, I went to an osteopathic MD thinking he would prescribe the "real" thyroxin - however, despite my low (ish) levels of T4, he wasn't willing to label me with hypothyroid disease.
I became totally disillusioned and actively avoided the medical community for three years and ignored how crappy I felt. That is until the symptoms of extreme exhaustion and unexplained weight gain became unbearable - and I scheduled an appointment with the traditional MD who had replaced the osteopath.
Upon meeting the second time - after receiving all of my blood work - she sat at her computer the entire time and read off the litany of concerns. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, and pre-diabetes - she never mentioned the low levels of T4 until I asked. As before, she was not willing to diagnose hypothyroidism, either - but instead told me I am very high risk (based on the info from her laptop) and that I need to take a statin to get my cholesterol down. I said, "no, thank you," much more politely than I felt like, and left her office disheartened and considerably discouraged.
As soon as I could, I started doing some research on my own. Low and behold, all of the "shit" that "concerned" her is linked directly to low thyroid function - the one thing that she was not willing to acknowledge or medicate.
Am I pissed off? Absolutely! Nonetheless, I am tired of giving over jurisdiction of my health and well-being to someone controlled by a system that is only concerned with the bottom line. I will no longer be a victim!
Therefore, I am owning all it and taking charge - I have researched the micro-nutrients my thyroid needs to function properly, and I am removing foods (gluten and sugar) from my diet that inhibit it. Time will tell. But in the meantime, while I continue to set out (write down) my affirmations every day, do my daily adapted yoga routine, and seek out a naturopath or homeopath (who is willing to listen and use their scientific knowledge to work with my body), I am taking back authority of my health along with my food choices. Is it hard? You bet it is, but it is worth all the difficult work to attain this feeling of empowerment.
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