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Growing

7/10/2022

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Earlier this week, I wrote the following on social media. It accompanied the haiku that I am using as today’s creative meditation.  

Some would claim it is "crazy" to trust young people - "they need to earn trust and respect." However, I say respect, kindness, care, and trust should be at the core of every human relationship. At DRC, it is the fundamental starting point where we first meet any child - because we understand those simple gifts illuminate their potential, not their deficits.   

It may come as a surprise that just 10 years ago, I was one of those "some" in the above paragraph. I firmly believed that kids, though in charge of their education, had to earn my respect and trust. This ideology came from a lifetime of cultural (and familial) indoctrination.   

My father was a school teacher. (I had him for 6th grade Social Studies - but that is a story of "fun" times and small-town living for another day.) When I started teaching at a non-public school in 2003, he was retired and looking for something to keep him busy. I had him come to the school to help the kids with a project. He was absolutely appalled that they called me by my first name. Sadly, he could not get over the informality and what he understood as disrespect to come back.   

He later explained to me he got respect from his students in two ways. First, they had to call him "Mr. Cousineau." Secondly, he always wore a shirt and tie. 
(I am just now remembering - he totally rocked his pink button down shirts.) I think in later years, before his retirement, he actually (gasp) wore jeans (pressed, of course) with the shirt and tie. He may have had a few polos, but those were reserved for the casual end-of-the-year days.   

He believed, without a doubt, that those two things were why his students respected him. I don't think he understood the impact he had on their lives because of who he was - not because of what he wore or demanded of them. To this day (nine years after his death and 28 years since his retirement), I hear, "oh, your dad was Mr. Cousineau - I had him for (5th, 6th, remedial math) and loved him. My response is always, "yes, he was a pretty cool guy."   

I saw a reel (social media video) recently - that said something akin to, "I am happy to say my beliefs, thoughts, and ideas are ever-evolving and changing. It is much better to be able to say - I know more now and have changed my mind - than to stay stagnant, closed-minded, and never grow."    

Exactly! I can happily say, “I have grown!” I am not the same person I was ten years ago (or even a month ago). None of us should be. But - sadly, many of us are not willing or able to admit that some of the things we said and did in the past were just not OK.   

Acknowledging your mistakes (misunderstanding, unknowing) with the intention of “doing better” is the path to growth. It does not indicate hypocrisy or wishy-washy-ness. It simply shows that you are open-minded and willing to expand your fundamental beliefs as you (we all) learn more about the world. As the great Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”  

Indeed, I now completely understand that respect and trust are naturally reciprocal. In gifting these (without any expectations), I will not only receive in abundance – I may also change someone's perspective and open their minds about themselves, the world, and their potential.   

Changing our culture will not easy. Nonetheless, I believe it can be accomplished through - one trusting, respectful, meaningful, nonjudgmental, empathetically kind encounter at a time.    

Weekly Creative Meditation
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DRC News
Summer Programs - So sorry to announce that we have cancelled the DRC-East Summer Program.  There was not enough interest to make it viable.

However, summer program at the Canton facility, during the last three weeks of August, will be running. They have become a beloved tradition for many local families. The program is designed to offer opportunities for hands-on exploration, creativity, and fun that children crave. DRC provides a space filled with resources and materials where kids are encouraged  to explore their interests freely.

Don't let your kids miss out on this opportunity - register today.
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  • Home
    • Contact
    • Our Story
    • Testimonials
    • Guiding Principles
  • About Us
    • Consultations
    • DRC-Canton Summer Program
    • Canton Afternoon Program
    • DRC Calendar
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      • Liberated Learners Network
  • Get Involved
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    • Sponsor a DRC Kid
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