Still True — Revisiting a Post from Ten Years Ago

Author’s Note: Ten years after writing this post— when DRC was in its infancy—I'm struck by how these themes remain not only relevant but perhaps even more urgent in our daily lives. This week brought some challenges, and revisiting these words proved to be exactly the reminder I needed. With a bit of revision and polish, the message remains true.


​Building Up vs. Tearing Down
December 21, 2015

I don't play computer games—not because I think they lack value, but because I'm extremely sensitive to visual and auditory stimuli. And, to be honest, they frustrate the hell out of me. My lack of coordination and inability to follow instructions are stories for another day.

That said, Minecraft has captured the imagination of an entire generation, particularly school-age children. From my exceedingly limited experience (all five minutes of it), the game seems to center on one essential choice: building up or tearing down a world.

This binary—build or destroy—offers a useful lens for understanding several heartbreaking stories I've heard recently. In each case, a child was emotionally harmed (and in one instance, physically) because unhappy adults responded to the child's behavior by tearing them down rather than building them up.

Here's what I know to be true: The only way to help someone make positive changes is to build them up—to cheer them on, encourage them, and offer guidance, support, and choices. Tearing someone down and belittling them doesn't inspire change. It only increases their pain and, like in Minecraft, destroys their world.

I recently encountered a story from South Africa that illustrates this beautifully. When a village member misbehaves, the elders bring them to the center of the village. The community surrounds them—not with condemnation, but with words of praise, celebrating everything beautiful about that person. Their belief? That love and encouragement inspire positive choices, for both the individual and the community. This practice reflects the African philosophy of Ubuntu.

In their world, punishment doesn't exist because they understand its detrimental and irrevocable consequences. It's one more example of how Western civilization isn't nearly as "civilized" as many indigenous cultures around the world.

I work with children who've experienced punishment, belittlement, judgment, and fear tactics—children penalized simply for being themselves. These negative interactions accumulate in their impressionable minds into one crushing conclusion: I am broken. There is something fundamentally wrong with me.

People often ask what my role is at Deep Root Center if I'm not functioning as a traditional teacher. My answer is unsophisticated but essential: I build kids up. I appreciate them. I love them. I celebrate their accomplishments. I listen to their stories and ideas. I offer opportunities for meaningful work based on their interests and aspirations. I support them in becoming their best, truest selves—while maintaining the boundaries that keep them safe and accountable.

It’s a constant balancing act between unconditional affirmation and clear accountability, grounded in reality. There are challenging days that make me question everything, and then moments of grace arrive—unbidden and perfect—reminding me that transformation happens slowly, quietly, and always on its own timeline.

Together, we dismantle the walls of misconception and untruth, building in their place an internal foundation of self-love and respect—one that honors their authentic selves while extending empathy and understanding to others.

My goal is both simple and subtle: to help students see themselves as beautiful human beings with abundant gifts to offer the world, and to help them recognize and celebrate these same gifts in each other.

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DRC News

These weeks between Thanksgiving and the December Holiday Break always feel a bit weird, almost disconnected from reality. Daylight has diminished, winter has effectively begun, and for some of us, a different kind of tiredness brings an overwhelming desire to hibernate for a few weeks. Additionally, some kids bring over-the-top energy that doesn’t always feel useful or welcome. This week was extra disorienting because of the snow day on Thursday. You will also notice a decided lack of photos for the week—oops. 

​The exciting news is that we added three new members on Monday, and they seem to be fitting in nicely. The crew has also started creating their D&D characters. We got the official playbook from the library, and Lilly is facilitating this beginning process. We are looking for a DM to run our game when we get back in January. If you would like to help, please let me know. 

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Gifts
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Sometimes the perfect gift isn’t wrapped in paper or bows, doesn’t cost the earth, and won't take up much physical space, but can have an enormous impact.  Contributing to Deep Root Center in honor of an important person in your life has far-reaching consequences for you, the receiver, and the children that Deep Root Center supports. Quite simply, your gift helps us keep our promise of offering our pay-what-you-can policy to the North Country. We are changing lives, and you can help. Thank you!

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