Honoring Authenticity through our Life Tales

Kitchen Sink Science - Experimenting with various slime recipes.

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Author’s Note: I spent several days searching for the right words to describe something specific: how my neurospicy quirks have sharpened with age, particularly this maddening inability to follow directions. Not rebellion—actual paralysis. Multi-step instructions, whether verbal or written, trigger something between confusion and a panicked state of overwhelm that stops me dead in my tracks.

Saturday morning, when nothing came to me, I turned to the archives, hoping an old piece might get the creativity flowing.

The search didn’t last long. I immediately found “Life Tales,” written seven years ago—three and a half years before I discovered I’m AuDHD. Reading it now, I was struck by how clearly I’d described my personal quirks without understanding their neurological roots: the stubbornness and persistence, the shyness, all of it. But here’s what moves me most: even without that crucial context, I was already honoring those traits as essential parts of who I am. That kind of self-acceptance took years to build.

I spend my days with kids working through personal shame and disappointment—whether related to their neurodivergence, body type, or other natural traits. Some actively choose the victim role, making everything negative someone else’s fault. Others hide. Some instigate or lash out aggressively to deflect their own perceived flaws. Our daily conversations circle back to the same core truths: take responsibility for your actions and make choices that reflect who you truly are. Own your quirks and differences as the positive trademarks they are, the things others will genuinely appreciate. Blame, instigation, and aggression, whether toward self or others, only sabotages the authenticity and connections you’re trying to build. 

I hope you enjoy the below edited version that got the creative juices running this week.No matter what we’re experiencing at the Center, I can always look back and find something that speaks to our current moment.

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Life Tales
November 25, 2018
 
I was reminded today that each of our lives is made up of the collective stories we create (live) throughout our lifetime. The most amazing part is that these individual tales are completely unique to each of us. I have three siblings, but the family recollections we share about particular events are completely different. In fact, I think I have fewer memories of our childhood than my brothers and sister, and I am the eldest.

I can, however, reminisce about the insane amount of time I spent with my grandparents—I recall it being every weekend and weeks on end during the summer—but it probably wasn't that often. It is where I learned to cook and appreciate garden-fresh fruits and vegetables while standing on a stool at my beloved Nama's elbow. And where I could pick raspberries, eating more than ever went in the pail to make the most delicious pies and tarts. It is where I learned that perfection was not always required, when my grandma proclaimed, "It won't show from the road," after I had ripped out and resewn a crooked hem three times in the skirt I was making.

I recall the smell of my Poppy's cigar and pipe smoke surrounding his massive recliner, crawling into bed with my Gram after he left for the early shift at Alcoa, donuts oozing with raspberry jelly from the Norwood bakery dunked in milky coffee, and sweet and gooey Sugar Daddy lollipops from Perry's market. Grandma and Poppy's was my happy place. It was where I was accepted and loved for myself without having to share any of that attention with my sibs, where the bedsheets were cool and crisp with the smell of summer sunshine, where I could read all day if I desired, and where ice cream sundaes with hard-crack chocolate syrup were a nightly ritual.

I think we forget that our personal identities are often tied directly to the narratives that our loved ones recite about us, as well as the personal lore we tell ourselves. Some of those tales are positive and allow us to see ourselves as proficient and successful, while others have the opposite effect. Those negative anecdotes we tell (and believe) about ourselves are, I suspect, the most damaging of all. I recognize that my childhood stories have played a major role in creating the person I am today. I can say that cooking is an innate skill that I love because I had the opportunity to do so as a very young child. My tendency to do the opposite of everyone else—to walk my own path based on my unique ideas and to stubbornly persist until the very obvious end—was born right there on those five acres of pure and unadulterated childhood paradise. It is also where I recognized that I am extremely shy and that, if given the opportunity, I will hide out with a book instead of interacting with people.

​To this day, over ten years after her death, I feel my grandmother's loving energy surrounding me. I know without a doubt that she is my guardian angel and that she is so proud of all I have accomplished.
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I encourage you to take time to examine your personal narrative—are you telling it with a favorable and affirmative spin, or are you weaving your tale with negative vibes? If it is the latter, consider a revision that includes writing yourself in as the hero. Honor your idiosyncrasies, as well as your skills, and talents. Take ownership of all that is you. And celebrate.

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DRC News

DRC Canton Weekly Round-up

The Canton Crew had a fun week. Our diehard winter lovers tried to go sledding on the SUNY Canton Hill with only a dusting of snow - twice!   In Kitchen Sink Science, they each took one slime/cloud dough recipe that came from social media posts to see if it would work. Once the discovered that the recipes were flawed, they spent time experimenting with various ingredients—but in the end found that the only way the recipes would work was to embellish them with traditional slime ingredients—glue and activator. This activity served two purposes - (a) you can't believe everything you see on the internet and (b) sometimes it is OK to play around and get messy to figure something out. ​We had a great time at the SUNY Canton Field House on our Thursday field trip. They played basketball with regulation hoops, practiced making soccer goals, and walked the track. We had a very chill vibe going on a rainy Friday. K made a cheesecake for our Thanksgiving meal this coming Tuesday when we traditionally welcome all of our families to join us. 

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Help us Keep Our Promise

As we head into the season of gratitude and giving, I am highlighting, once again, the ways you can support our work and the promise we made to the NoCo community over a decade ago: to help any child who requests our services.

You can make a one-time or monthly donation, or set up a sponsorship. Or if you're looking for alternatives to material gifts, a meaningful way to honor a friend, family member, or someone special in your life—is to make a donation to DRC in their name. Click the button below and simply provide us with their name and address, and we'll send them a note informing them of your thoughtful gift. ​

Donate

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You could also help celebrate my 61st birthday this past Tuesday by contributing to a Facebook fundraiser, which is live until the 28th. 

Facebook Fundraiser

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​Additionally you can:
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Surprise us with items from our Amazon Wishlist and they will be delivered to our porch. 

Amazon Wishlist

Shop our original DRC designs on Printify for yourself and your loved ones.

DRC Swag

​If you wish, you can also donate through 
​Venmo - @WholeLearners,  
​or send a check directly to Deep Root Center - 
48 Riverside Dr., Canton, NY 13617