Competition - Learned Conflict and Creating the “Other."

Watching the ship enter the Eisenhower Locks

No one would argue that competition forms the structural foundation of capitalist society. Every facet of this economic ideology operates through contest and the inherently created conflict. The bigger, faster, stronger, smarter, skinnier, richer, and loudest claim victory—winning not just games and rewards, but resources, wealth, and social status. Power, privilege, and entitlement inevitably follow. As late-stage capitalism convulses, the ultra-wealthy mount increasingly ruthless campaigns to expand already-massive fortunes.

The simple act of being alive has become a competition for connections, where influence and association determine worth. The inevitable result is systemic inequality embedded at every level of society—a reality that remains glaringly obvious yet persistently denied. We perpetuate this by immersing our children in constant competition and social stratification, reinforcing through daily example the illusion that rivalry and othering are natural human impulses. From old-fashioned bullying and schoolyard mockery of anyone too authentic to fit prescribed norms, to calculated ostracism and the competitive hierarchies of our games and organized sports, we teach exclusion as instinct. The poor, people with disabilities, LGBTQ individuals, ethnic minorities, and other marginalized groups are automatically cast as "other," their exclusion framed as inevitable rather than deliberately constructed—a fiction that erodes our moral foundation. Our children bear the ultimate cost.

As if to prove my point, two teens walked into the office mid-draft of this piece, discussing martial arts and self-defense. I suggested that in a real threatening situation, using your brain beats using brawn—removing yourself from danger is smarter than fighting. One kid nodded: "Because you could get hurt or worse." I added, "Yes, or worse," dragging my finger across my throat. Without missing a beat, the other teen mimicked the gesture and declared, "I did it better." I broke into laughter and showed them what I was writing.

Beyond this silly anecdote, and despite my best intentions, competition surfaces constantly in daily life here. It emerges during 45-minute allotted gaming sessions, in casual exchanges like the one above, while playing outside, on walks to the Grasse River, in the kitchen during meal prep, and even during collaborative art projects that are supposed to foster cooperation. Most of these interactions appear, on the surface, benign—dismissed with "We're just kidding around” or some other banality—but some, with seemingly little difference, escalate into messier conflicts that ripple through the entire community. This is where my frustration mainly lies.

Kids have learned that one-upmanship is expected and that being passive or non-confrontational equates to weakness (or invites any of the other slurs that can be casually tossed around). This induces additional conflict and hurt feelings—or worse—and perpetuates the acceptance and normalization of cultural and systemic inequities, injustice, and prejudice. 
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I want these young people to understand that their words and actions matter, even when they feel small. Each of us is responsible for showing up positively and contributing to a better world. I expect empathy and kindness to be our baseline—the foundation of how we treat each other. I encourage them to sincerely support one another, speak up for what's right, actively practice conflict resolution, and engage in intentional daily acts of kindness. This is how we build community together and create positive change that ripples beyond our group.

Taking care of one another isn't just idealistic—it's fundamental to our humanity. Cooperation and mutual support have been essential to our survival for hundreds of thousands of years;  it is literally built into our DNA, while systems like capitalism are relatively recent inventions in human history.  

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DRC News

Weekly Wrap-up
​The Canton Crew had a good week. Thursday’s field trip to the Seaway was a blast. We arrived at the newly renovated Eisenhower Locks Visitor Center as a ship was approaching from upstream and watched the entire fascinating process of it entering the locks and being lowered to the matching water level on the downstream side.  Then we traveled a few miles to the Hawkins Point Visitor Center and explored the interpretive displays about electricity. On Friday, in Kitchen Sink Science, we played with siphons, BL made a delicious pialla for lunch, and our walkers explored the SUNY Canton trail in between rain showers.  

Field Trip 10/23 - St. Lawrence Seaway

Friday SUNY Canton Trail Adventures

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Pop-ups
​The Pop-ups Peeps had a fun Thursday at the Massena Library. They will be at Nicandri next Thursday, Oct. 30. 

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Thank you!

We are so very grateful to be a SLU community partner for their Make a Difference Day each year. On Saturday, the SLU Women’s Softball Team came to deep clean inside our home and rake the yard.  Thank you!

Thank you to the person who purchased paint and pot holders from our Walmart Registry, anonymously, this past week!
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You can surprise us, too, by purchasing items to be sent to us by clicking the button below.

Walmart Registry