Author's note: When I use the term "honeymoon phase," I'm referring to the excitement of beginning something new—not romance.

Around this time each year, as first-quarter report cards go out, inquiries about Deep Root Center and homeschooling surge. The shine has worn off the school year. The honeymoon phase is over, and the reality of every day hits hard.

Many young people get swept up in the cultural ritual of "back to school"—the crisp notebooks, the unmarked sneakers, the carefully chosen new outfits. These aren't just supplies; they're talismans, quiet promises: This year will be different. This year I'll fit in. I'll make real friends. I'll finally understand what everyone's talking about. I'll stay on top of the work. I'll remain calm, focused, and in control.

By the end of the first marking period, the gap between hope and reality becomes impossible to ignore. School refusals spike. Self-doubt takes root, twisting into self-blame. Many of these kids may not be utterly miserable yet—but they're heading in that direction

My conversations with young people and their families start with one essential truth: This isn't your fault. School feeling impossibly hard doesn't mean something is wrong with you—it means you're being forced into a system built for uniformity. We're all unique individuals, wired differently, with distinct needs and ways of learning, yet school operates as if one size fits all, both academically and socially.

Homeschooling and self-directed learning—whether on your own or at Deep Root Center—can flip the script entirely. The very things that make you feel like a misfit in traditional school (your pace, your interests, your way of thinking) become assets instead of liabilities. You take charge of your education, exploring what makes your heart sing.

Don't get me wrong—the honeymoon phase ends at DRC too. It just looks and feels different. After two months, kids know each other well enough to get comfortable—sometimes too comfortable. They forget that respect and kindness aren't negotiable; they're our baseline. I call it the sibling effect: when you feel secure with people, it's easy to slip into unkindness, disrespect, and snarkiness disguised as humor. 

​But here's the difference: when the honeymoon ends at DRC, we don't see it as failure. We see it as progress. Getting comfortable enough to test boundaries means you've found a place where you belong. And unlike traditional school, where struggling means you're falling behind, here it means we're doing the real work—learning how to be in community, how to advocate for yourself, how to repair when things go sideways. The missteps aren't signs you don't fit. They're proof you finally do. 

Community Actions:
​We know times are tough. The cost of groceries and other necessities keeps climbing, SNAP benefits are likely delayed, and folks right here in our neighborhood are feeling it. That’s why DRC is in the process of setting up a Little Free Pantry—stocked and ready for anyone who needs a hand. 
We need your help stocking it with items that can brave the cold—nonperishable foods and personal care products designed to survive winter temperatures. 

Feel free to leave donations in the pantry or on the porch. If we happen to be there when you stop by, please knock—we’d love to see you and chat!
Just remember to check that items meet the cold-weather guidelines above. We’re so grateful for any support you can offer. We’ll keep you posted as we get it ready, or reach out anytime if you’d like to get more involved.
For those who prefer, we’ve created an Amazon Wishlist specifically for the DRC Little Free Pantry. Any item you purchase from the list will be sent to us directly. If you wish to be thanked, publicly, please include your name. Thank you!

Note: We will put together personal care and menstruation kits to place in the pantry with some of the items on the Amazon list.​

Weekly Wrap-up
The DRC Crew enjoyed a chill week, including our Halloween Party on Friday that had the typical DRC vibe. 

No one would argue that competition forms the structural foundation of capitalist society. Every facet of this economic ideology operates through contest and the inherently created conflict. The bigger, faster, stronger, smarter, skinnier, richer, and loudest claim victory—winning not just games and rewards, but resources, wealth, and social status. Power, privilege, and entitlement inevitably follow. As late-stage capitalism convulses, the ultra-wealthy mount increasingly ruthless campaigns to expand already-massive fortunes.

The simple act of being alive has become a competition for connections, where influence and association determine worth. The inevitable result is systemic inequality embedded at every level of society—a reality that remains glaringly obvious yet persistently denied. We perpetuate this by immersing our children in constant competition and social stratification, reinforcing through daily example the illusion that rivalry and othering are natural human impulses. From old-fashioned bullying and schoolyard mockery of anyone too authentic to fit prescribed norms, to calculated ostracism and the competitive hierarchies of our games and organized sports, we teach exclusion as instinct. The poor, people with disabilities, LGBTQ individuals, ethnic minorities, and other marginalized groups are automatically cast as "other," their exclusion framed as inevitable rather than deliberately constructed—a fiction that erodes our moral foundation. Our children bear the ultimate cost.

As if to prove my point, two teens walked into the office mid-draft of this piece, discussing martial arts and self-defense. I suggested that in a real threatening situation, using your brain beats using brawn—removing yourself from danger is smarter than fighting. One kid nodded: "Because you could get hurt or worse." I added, "Yes, or worse," dragging my finger across my throat. Without missing a beat, the other teen mimicked the gesture and declared, "I did it better." I broke into laughter and showed them what I was writing.

Beyond this silly anecdote, and despite my best intentions, competition surfaces constantly in daily life here. It emerges during 45-minute allotted gaming sessions, in casual exchanges like the one above, while playing outside, on walks to the Grasse River, in the kitchen during meal prep, and even during collaborative art projects that are supposed to foster cooperation. Most of these interactions appear, on the surface, benign—dismissed with "We're just kidding around” or some other banality—but some, with seemingly little difference, escalate into messier conflicts that ripple through the entire community. This is where my frustration mainly lies.

Kids have learned that one-upmanship is expected and that being passive or non-confrontational equates to weakness (or invites any of the other slurs that can be casually tossed around). This induces additional conflict and hurt feelings—or worse—and perpetuates the acceptance and normalization of cultural and systemic inequities, injustice, and prejudice. 
​
I want these young people to understand that their words and actions matter, even when they feel small. Each of us is responsible for showing up positively and contributing to a better world. I expect empathy and kindness to be our baseline—the foundation of how we treat each other. I encourage them to sincerely support one another, speak up for what's right, actively practice conflict resolution, and engage in intentional daily acts of kindness. This is how we build community together and create positive change that ripples beyond our group.

Taking care of one another isn't just idealistic—it's fundamental to our humanity. Cooperation and mutual support have been essential to our survival for hundreds of thousands of years;  it is literally built into our DNA, while systems like capitalism are relatively recent inventions in human history.  

Weekly Wrap-up
​The Canton Crew had a good week. Thursday’s field trip to the Seaway was a blast. We arrived at the newly renovated Eisenhower Locks Visitor Center as a ship was approaching from upstream and watched the entire fascinating process of it entering the locks and being lowered to the matching water level on the downstream side.  Then we traveled a few miles to the Hawkins Point Visitor Center and explored the interpretive displays about electricity. On Friday, in Kitchen Sink Science, we played with siphons, BL made a delicious pialla for lunch, and our walkers explored the SUNY Canton trail in between rain showers.  

Pop-ups
​The Pop-ups Peeps had a fun Thursday at the Massena Library. They will be at Nicandri next Thursday, Oct. 30. 

We are so very grateful to be a SLU community partner for their Make a Difference Day each year. On Saturday, the SLU Women’s Softball Team came to deep clean inside our home and rake the yard.  Thank you!

Author Note: This revised and edited post from 10/13/2015 seems to be a perfect fit for this week’s message, when I only had a scattering of ideas for a new piece and a limited amount of time to write this weekend. Enjoy!
We humans have a built-in biological need to name and sort every single thing we encounter, whether they are people, behaviors, emotions, animals, plants, inanimate objects, fungi, storms, or illnesses etc.

On one hand, classifying allows us to make that comfortable personal connection and identify kindred spirits; however, in many instances, assigning a label is equal to placing judgment on them. In a very simple way, this automatic categorization makes it easier to discredit them, and in that instant of identifying the differences, we have created “the other”. They are not like me, and they don't think like me; therefore, I can disregard, ignore, ridicule, and dislike them.

Governments, religions, businesses, and organizations have long ago learned to capitalize on this basic human biological characteristic by developing propaganda that perpetuates the cycle of identification, distrust, formation of alliances, and hate.

How then can we escape the trap so easily set by our own natural inclinations?

I believe that becoming aware of this tendency is probably the first step. Every time you find yourself in a difficult or uncomfortable situation, stop for a moment and ask yourself, “Will my actions bring people together or will they divide us even further?” Whenever you have that awareness that the person in front of or beside you is completely different from you, smile and meet their eyes. If you find yourself automatically labeling someone you see walking down the street, stop and recognize your behavior. 
​
​And when you are ready, go even further:

• Be willing to ask questions when you hear something that strikes you as disrespectful or senseless, instead of immediately labeling them as the “other.”
• Be willing to be the person who stands up for all those others who are not able to defend themselves.
  
• Be willing to identify an injustice and challenge the misconduct behind it.
• Be willing to make those personal connections that may feel uncomfortable.
• Be willing to walk in another's shoes.
• Be willing to be the person who sends unconditional love into the world.

It can be that simple. Send kindness. Send humility. Send your humanness. Send your creativity. Send your fierceness. And yes, send your love without expectation, and you will be surprised at what comes back.

Thank you!
Shouts of thanks to Boyden Brook Body Works in Canton for their sponsorship of $500! We are deeply grateful for their continued support of our work. If you know of a business that may be interested in joining them in sponsoring Deep Root Center, please get in touch. Every contribution goes directly towards our promise to accept any child who needs us, despite their family’s financial situation. You can also learn more by clicking the button. 

Weekly Wrap-up
The DRC Crew had a short week and we caught very little of the action in photos. 

DRC Pop-ups
The DRC Pop-ups Peeps have hopped onto the Pop Dart trend and had a great time playing for most of their time at the Massena Library on Thursday. 
​
All homeschool families are invited to join them next Thursday 10/23 back at the Massena Library. 

Field Trips
The DRC Crew traveled to the Paul Smith’s VIC on Thursday to spend a delightful day in the ADK. We missed peak colors by about a week, but it was still a gorgeous view. Thank you to the Madill family for letting us borrow their 8 passenger van for this trip.

It is our intention to go on a field trip every two weeks. In fact, we are writing a grant for this purpose. Our biggest hurdle is reliable transportation. Even if this grant gets funded with travel cost reimbursement, it is not guaranteed that we will have cars and drivers when we need them—for the number of kiddos who want to go. We understand that parents are often busy with jobs and other responsibilities. 

In the process of writing the grant, I contacted SLC Public Transit because in the past they have chartered busses for a local private school & various community group activities. They no longer do that for insurance purposes. I also contacted Premier bus services. You don’t want to know what it would cost for one trip, never-mind 18 over the course of an academic year. Holy Wow-zers!

If you have any viable (wouldn’t cost the earth) ideas to solve this issue, please get in touch. Also, if you have any thoughts on places for us to visit within a 1-1.5 hour radius of Canton, please pass them on.  (I have a pretty long list already, but I am sure I am missing a few important places.) ​ 

Weekly Wrap-up
Besides our field trip, the Canton Crew had a fairly chill week at the Center. They took one last walk to immerse themselves (yes, literally) in the Grasse River on Monday before the cold, real fall weather hit. The kitchen was busy with kids making pancakes & sausage, buffalo chicken mac & cheese for lunch, and chocolate chip pumpkin bars, banana bread, and a pumpkin roll. 

DRC Pop-ups
The Pop-ups Peeps had a great time at the Nicandri Nature Center on Thursday.   Your homeschool family can join the fun this coming Thursday Oct. 16th, from 12-3, at the Massena Public Library. 

Learning of your hero’s death is always devastating. This Wednesday, the world lost an extraordinary force for good — its bravest, kindest, most dedicated, humblest, inspirational, and tireless champion, when Dr. Jane Goodall, the world-renowned primatologist, ethologist, and activist, passed away at the ripe age of 91.  Few would be surprised that she spent her final days in Los Angeles, on a speaking engagement. She famously toured the world 300 days each year. 

I first became aware of Dr. Goodall’s work when I returned to college to study anthropology, as a 37-year-old adult (non-traditional student). It was a physical anthropology class called Human Origins, where we examined the evolution of modern humans, looking closely at our primate cousins. Dr. Usher showed the National Geographic films of Dr. Goodall developing the chimpanzee research facility at Gombe National Forest in Tanzania. 

As a shy, introverted mother of two young children, I was quickly and completely enamored with her boldness and single-minded pursuit of her dreams. In 1960, as a young woman, she realized her childhood ambition of living in Africa when she convinced the famed paleoanthropologist Louis Leakey to allow her to travel to Tanzania to study chimpanzees. Additionally, with her time with the chimps running out, she was able to convince National Geographic to film and photograph her work. This, of course, is how the rest of the world and I learned of her breakthrough research and how she met her first husband, a wildlife photographer. 

Her studies of the chimps of Gombe National Forest utterly changed not only how we view other species, but also what we understand as purely human characteristics. Because of her, we know that other creatures make and use tools, hunt cooperatively, show emotion, and have complex social structures—all things previously thought to define humanness. She also upended the scientific world by naming the animals she studied rather than reducing them to numbers. 

Her work with the chimpanzees, however, is only half of her remarkable story. She went on to create the Jane Goodall Institute and the Roots and Shoots program for young people worldwide. Activism for animals and the environment became her focus, ultimately consuming most of her time. She traveled extensively, giving speeches around the world, wrote 32 books, and has inspired many with her words and actions. Dr. Jane quickly became a friend to everyone she met. 

Two of the main reasons I have idolized Dr. Jane since hearing of her work are that she exemplifies self-directed learning and, no small feat, remained steadfast to her values while achieving worldwide acclaim. She didn't wait for things to happen to her; she seized opportunities and explored every possibility while spreading empathy, kindness, and compassion for all creatures. With her playful, adventurous, and generous spirit intact, she captured the hearts, minds, and imaginations of people around the world, including mine. Now, in my view, that is just plain badass—something I have always aspired to be. 

We had a strange week with several kids out for the last two days, which is why we postponed our field trip to the Paul Smith’s VIC to next Thursday.  We did manage to celebrate a newly minted 13-year-old on Thursday (Happy Birthday, T) with homemade pizza and cake. Thanks to our newest member, C, for helping make both. 

The Pop-ups Peeps had fun at the Massena Library on Thursday with a walk to Stewarts to buy ice cream and a can of whipped cream. Janine reported that they also had an interesting conversation about biases.  

Plan on meeting them next Thursday, October 9th at the Nicandri Nature Center.