Today is one of those days when so many thoughts are competing in this noisy and exhausted brain that I cannot focus or get inspired about just one theme for this post. I can only hope that somehow these hyperactive musings will synthesize into something coherent as they tumble through my fingertips and onto the screen.

All this week, I was considering how best to explore two qualities of neurodivergence that have (and continue to) impacted my life substantially.

These include the complexities of PDA - otherwise known as a "persistent drive for autonomy," which has also been pathologized and named "persistent demand avoidance." These two very different ways of thinking about and examining what looks like defiance - have resulted in ODD (opposition defiant disorder) diagnoses exploding in the past few years.

The other is RSD - "rejection sensitivity dysphoria." Broken down as simplistically as possible - this is the constant feeling that I am letting people down or they are upset or angry with me because of something I said or did (or didn't do).

But as I was considering how to present those two interconnected pieces of my personality that affect my every action (reaction), my thoughts were taken over by some of the events this week and how our kiddos are deeply impacted by the severe childhood traumas they endured, their own neurodivergence, and the overall (I would say dangerous) culture of competition perpetuated in nearly every aspect of our children's lives. Which, funnily (interestingly) enough, results in many behaviors that also resemble PDA & RSD.

Therefore, while battling to maintain calmness in my own responses (not always successfully), I am modeling the tools for self-regulation and conflict resolution while engaging in individual and group conversations to help kids navigate the complexities of their emotions and important connecting relationships within this diverse, dynamic (sometimes chaotic) community.

Thank goodness for the other DRC adults, facilitators, and mentors who understand the multitude of nuances and are available to help whenever all the feelings and overwhelming undertones of wild energy erupt and infect everyone's mood - including mine.

As you may have guessed, it was another very full week at DRC Canton.

I realized as the kiddos and our fabulous parent volunteer, Jaclyn, were measuring and determining our property line - it was exactly six years from the day we purchased it. They measured our 33o' x 65' plot with the help of the tax map and a 200ft tape measure and then they went back the next day with the GPS property map app to confirm their original measurements. They were just a bit off because they were measuring around trees and lots of other obstacles.

We welcomed a new teen on Tuesday and had plenty of kitchen adventures all week. Our artists created goth glue drawings that will be completed next week and they painted a "stained glass" window in our front door. Our daily dedicated time of academics included math adventures with Khan Academy and Prodigy, independent reading, GED Prep study, explorations into US history and researching mushrooms.  

As always outside play and visits to the Grasse River were an important part of our week.

Those who know me understand that math - especially Algebra is not one of my strengths. When I talk to kids down on themselves about struggling with higher-level math (or even computational math), I often share the anecdote about taking the Algebra Regents four(!) times before passing, and even then, it was just barely. Yet somehow, despite my challenges with numbers and math concepts (dyscalculia), I have lived a successful, fulfilling life and even built a not-for-profit where I am responsible for all of the financial minutia.

We can't be good at everything - in fact, it is perfectly OK to totally suck at some things. The key is to hone your skills and talents (get really good at the things that you excel in), have a curious mindset including an open mind to new ideas, a commitment to flexibility and problem-solving, and the willingness to create systems (hacks) to assist you with the hard stuff. With all that in place, everything balances out.

Our very full, busy week at DRC Canton included an 18th birthday celebration, lots of cooking,  painting and zoology classes, science experiments, independent study, walks to the Grasse River, hosting 8 SLU CBL volunteers, and plenty of free play.

This week's Pop-ups were hosted by the Massena Library on Thursday afternoon and the Nicandri Nature Center on Friday afternoon.

Janine's report from the Nature Center: "We had a BLAST - used a wildlife ID app, found some really unusual fungi, and dissected owl pellets....and of course got in a lot of exercise."

Meet us at the Norwood Village Park for plenty of Family Fun and live music!

You know those days (weeks, months) when you think to yourself, "What else could possibly go wrong?" or "When is it (life) ever going to get easier?" I am here to remind you that even when you feel like one challenge is quickly eclipsed by another - and you are completely overwhelmed - there are growth opportunities and nuggets of potential buried inside each of those trials. Even when you feel like you can't move forward another step under the weight of disappointment and frustration.

When quitting seems like it might be the answer - ask yourself, "Is this the best way forward for me right now?"  "What are the potential benefits (what opportunities will open up) in quitting?" "Will this 'fix' the issues or make it easier?” (Which is a valid reason, too.)

If the opportunities are hidden inside the challenges, they will make themselves known when you are honest with yourself about the above answers, are open to seeking out new ideas and solutions, and are willing to work hard to make them a reality.

If your answers to the above questions lead you to determine that quitting is the remedy because you feel like the opportunities lay in moving on, don't hesitate - make it clean (be kind and compassionate and leave the drama behind) - and prepare yourself for the next good thing that (absolutely) will present itself.


No matter where you are in this process - understand that you intuitively know the right path for you. Take the time to tune in and pay attention to what your heart is so very desperately trying to tell you.

Our first week was full of adventures and learning opportunities. We brainstormed the points that became our community agreement and listed everything we wanted to explore this year. And we spent plenty of time socializing, playing, and exploring the space. And we wished A. C. a happy 16th Birthday. Thanks to his Grandma for bringing in cupcakes to celebrate.

The DRC Pop-ups began this past Thursday at the Massena Library and Friday at the Nicandri Nature Center. Janine enjoyed meeting some kiddos, engaging in cool conversations, and facilitating art and nature activities. Meet them next week - the Massena Library and the Nicandri Nature Center are both hosting us again. Learn more here.

*note - We are grateful to the Norwood Library for agreeing to host the Pop-ups two Fridays each month beginning Friday, Sept. 27.

Every single one of us is unique - in our neurology, emotions, intellect, and ideology. When we say DRC is individualized, we mean that we are meeting every person where they are - in every one of those attributes - while consciously building a respectful, supportive community.

We expect and encourage every member to be themselves - with the understanding that they have a responsibility to the whole group.

What does that look and feel like in our everyday interactions? Honestly, it is systematic chaos of twenty-six kiddos doing their thing, following their interests, alone and together in groups, while recognizing (being reminded) that everyone else has the same rights.

How do we practice the concepts of community within that three-ring circus? In the past, our community agreement was a generic document that everyone signed off on. This year, we will be more intentional in creating it. On our first day, we will discuss what we want to be included - everyone from the youngest to the oldest can input what they feel is vitally important to our community for them to feel included. Within that contract, we will also have the details for dealing with conflicts that are certain to crop up. Using restorative practices, we will be more deliberate about exercising care for each other, even when we butt heads and disagree.

Is our community perfect? Not by long-shot - we each (adults included) make mistakes and screw up royally. But we also understand that we are all learning and trying our hardest. Sometimes, that means we will fall down in failure. All we can do is give one another (and ourselves) grace, make amends, and ask that we get up and try again the next day.

Growth is tricky. It shows up in leaps and bounds and then sometimes stalls at the most unexpected moments.

We look forward to embracing and celebrating each of those moments while flourishing and thriving together - through all the growing pains - as this new academic year commences.

We will be back in the Canton facility on Monday! It is spiffed up and organized, and ready for all the mayhem of growth and learning.

It is not too late to join us. If you feel like DRC is where your child belongs - get in touch.

The Craft Fair and Family Fun Day is October 5th at the Norwood Village Park. Plan on joining us for some seriously good fun.